


Fox and the Hound

by Maxie890



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Author is still still learning the tagging system don't mind me, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Gay Panic, Help, Imprinting, Magic, Memory Loss, Non-Human Humanoid Society, POV Lesbian Character, Slow Burn, Sorry Not Sorry, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Useless Lesbians, Witch Curses, Witchcraft, Witches
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-10-12 07:42:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17463404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maxie890/pseuds/Maxie890
Summary: The trees passed by me in a blur of green but I couldn't care less about my surroundings, all that matters is running. The dappled shade of the woodland trees had seemed inviting only moments earlier, but now the forest seemed like a death sentence, a coffin sitting overhead a cold grave. My grave.





	1. Enouement

**Author's Note:**

> Im like 7 years late for this bullshit but whatever. Also, this story is published on quotev under the same name but with Jacob as the love-intrest. Im a closeted lesbian and have friends that follow me on that website so im posting this story here and Fanfiction.net, with the love-intrest I WANTED to write, Leah.

Enouement 

/kä(l)m/

adjective

  1. 1\. The bitter-sweetness of arriving at the future, seeing how things turned out, but not being able to tell your past self. 

* * *




       I held my bleeding arm, praying to the gods above. My feet slip outwards on the wet autumn leaves as I round the corner, the cold evening air shocking my throat and lungs as I inhale deeper, faster. With each footfall a jarring pain shoots ankle to knee, ankle to knee. Perhaps jumping from that cliff wasn't so smart. My heart beats frantically, all or nothing. Fail and my whole body will pay the price, run and the damage is limited mostly to my shins and knees. I know this forest better than it does, that leech is just a toddler in uniform, shipped in from the nicer end of town.

The trees passed by me in a blur of green but couldn't care less about my surroundings, I just had to get away. The dappled shade of the woodland trees had seemed so inviting only moments earlier, but now the forest seemed like a death sentence, a coffin sitting overhead a cool grave. My grave.

Suddenly, I stumbled, falling to my knees as a particularly painful feeling burst up my arm.

That vampires venom was spreading.

I could hear her behind me, walking slowly because she knew I was too wounded to get away, too wounded to fight. I forced myself back to my feet, ignoring my injuries. I refused to go down, not here, not now. Images of my coven flashed through my mind and I choked back tears, how had the vampires known to attack on a lunar eclipse? How had they known we would be at our weakest?

None of it mattered now.

I stumbled to a part of the forest and the scents around me drastically changed. I had just stumbled into someone's territory. My senses weren't as good as a vampires but I was fairly sure that the scent was human, or something close to it anyway.

An earth shattering howl tore through the forest like oil dumped into water. I shivered but continued on, no turning back now. The bare branches spiked into the sky - no sign of life to be found anywhere. It was so dark I could barely see where I was going. There were only small sounds of rustling bushes and the howl of the wind. I didn't know what laid in the dark forest, all I knew was that it wasn't going to be a peaceful journey.

For the first time in my life the forest was not my friend, but my enemy.

"You should just give up." a voice called from behind me. I growled back at the vampire walking sedately behind me. Toying with me. "Go to hell." I snarled, still trying to run away from the newborn tailing me.

She was about to respond when the sound of crashing leaves sounded from in front of us. I drew back, alarmed. My breath was swept away when from the shadows came a humongous wolf, it's body hunkered low to the ground.

I watched, my own limbs frozen in place.

Despite its proximity there was no sound, it circled left rather than coming directly to me. On instinct I turned around, there were more, pouring from between the trees, flowing rather than running. Each had their muzzle slightly open revealing yellowed teeth as large as my middle finger. As slowly as I dared I let my hand fall to the handle of my dagger. Sometimes even a pacifist needs to even the odds.

Others followed behind until I was faced off with three or four giant wolves, all snarling. I heard the sound of the vampire hissing behind me and I wanted to cry. This couldn't be happening to me. It was almost flattering that God thought it would take this much to kill me, though.

It didn't take long for the forest to be enveloped in darkness. My rasping breath steamed in the moonlight and my throat was parched from thirst. I heard the quickening thud of wild wolves as they began to approach me. I heard my heart thumping in my head and my legs began to quiver like jelly. I tripped over a tangled mossy root and the earthly ground rushed up to my face as I thudded to the ground. I am going to die… I am going to die. Those words choked my mind as I struggled to stand up.  
The pack of wolves slowly made their way up to my limp shaking body.

I shakily brushed a strand of flaming red hair out if my face as I climbed to my feet, disgusted to find my hand covered in blood. I wasn't even sure who the blood belonged to.

I began to back away, as any logical person would do, when something strange happened.

I caught the eye of a russet wolf and I couldn't look away. Its molten eyes seemed to stare into my soul, looking for something I couldn't even begin to comprehend. The wolf observed in the way a dog never could. It had the eyes of an adult, a creature who came as an equal, or a superior, but never your "friend." In the moonlight that fell so casually on the clearing its fur was mostly brown, but my eyesight isn't great in the dark.

It wasn't snarling like the other wolves, it was just...watching.

A hand on my shoulder startled me out of my trance and I felt myself get thrown like a ragdoll. I had almost forgotten about the vampire.

Almost.

The air was swept out of my lungs as my back made contact with a tree. I slid down the tree and hit the forest floor, which I had become well acquainted with in this past hour.

There was a moment of silence like a piece of glass suspended in the air before shattering where no one, no thing, Moved.

Then, suddenly, the russet wolf snarled and launched itself at the vampire.

The rest of its pack seemed thoroughly surprised by its actions, trying to draw it back from its attack. But they went unnoticed as the wolf bit down on the vampires arm, dragging her down as it yanked. A few wolves moved in front of me, putting a barrier in between me and the vampire. Probably so I wouldn't be able to feed it and give it its strength back. The fight began with the vampire practically drop kicking one of the wolves into the forest. It let out a pained snarl as it instantly climbed back to its feet, preparing to fight yet again.

I watched the fight with increased horror as it got more serious. I struggled to my feet ignoring my injuries and the sounds of the fight. I stopped for a moment, letting my eyes wander back over to the russet wolf as she fought the she-devil who'd tried to take my life. I shook my head, forcing myself out of my thoughts.

I turned and ran with a speed I didnt even think was possible in my current state, I felt ashamed for leaving the wolves to the vampire. But I was practically dead weight in my current state. I would be doing them no favors by sticking around. The trees flashed by me in a blur of green, the moon lighting up my path in one last grace of my fight. I could feel the vampires venom working its way from my arm where she had bit me, to my heart. She was a newborn, a fool for biting me before the kill was set and now both of us would pay for it.

I was moving about the forest like there's a hurricane inside of me. Moving like my brain is demanding the energetic expenditure of an athlete but won't tell my limbs what to do.

I suddenly froze.

There was a burning through my arm, leading to my chest where the venom was having it's way with my insides. Uncaring of their purpose to keep me alive. I placed a hand on my chest as if it could keep my heart pumping blood through my body, as if my sheer force I could hold myself together, but I couldn't.

And just like that, I was dead.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Leah POV

I ran, feet kissing the land. Perhaps a while ago I would have balked at idea of running so far and fast, now I relish the prospect. These feet were made to travel fast and as the paws of a wolf. I felt whole as I ran, but I couldn't enjoy it as I wanted to. I snarled as the pack bond exposed me to everyone's levels of anger. My anger would come like an impossible build up steam, burning me on the way out, burning the one on the receiving end. As much as I hated the bond the pack shared, this was a moment I was glad to be a part of it.

A vampire had crossed into our territory.

Paul and Embry had been patrolling the border as usual, making their backbreaking rounds along la Push's border to clock out when they sensed something along the border. Embry hadn't hesitated before letting out an earth shattering howl that had all of us running and as soon as we got here, we were angry. It only took a quick second for everyone to identify that the vampire wasn't a member of the cullens 'family' but a rogue. The scent of death clung to the vampire so closely that we didn't even realise she was with someone until we were a couple of feet away.

When the second girl stepped out of the darkness of the trees, I could see what my ears were telling me already. She was limping, the gait that was smooth only this morning was faltering and uneven. Her hair was ragged, loose hair falling over her features that contorted with effort. She was obviously injured, bleeding heavily from multiple wounds all over her body. Her curly red hair was matted with dirt, and had twigs sticking out at odd angles.

She froze as she noticed us, her wide eyes carefully examining each of my pack. I sniffed the air hurriedly but confirmed she wasn't a vampire, which meant we had to get her away from the leech. Now.

I stepped forward, to try and get her away from the vampire. Her head snapped over to me instantly and our eyes met.

Everything seemed to stop as I looked into her emerald eyes. Every interaction, everything I had ever thought important or interesting was no longer a concern. Everything was just her her her.

My breathing still came in wild gasps that I knew were not caused by my frantic running. Her eyes were like a clear lake in a dark forest, if you looked closer at that lake you could see a round shallow crevice filled with completely transparent water. The water didn't tug or ripple in the closed off space, though there was reason enough to. In that already unnaturally beautiful scene were two identical and gigantic green koi fish - trapped in an unbreakable and frighteningly fast chase for each other's long tails, fusing into a seamless circle. The only thing that got through their immortal war was a white light from the moon, a gracious beam to envelop the bodies of the two. How it bounced off their scales making the water turn a paler green.

I felt Jacob screaming at me through the back bond. Asking me what was wrong, why wasn't I moving.

"Dammit!" I felt Paul snarl at Embry and Jacob. "She's imprinted on the girl!"

A wave of emotions hit me through the pack bond, but it was nothing compared to the tsunami of undesirable feelings I had at that moment. I suddenly noticed that the redheaded girl looked scared, was she ok? Every ounce of my being screamed at me to go and cheer her up. To make sure she was ok and wouldn't get hurt further. Those pale green eyes were filled with fear.

She was taking hesitant steps away from us. I would have furrowed my eyebrows if I had any, that wasn't right. She wasn't supposed to be running away.

Suddenly, the leech placed a hand on the girl and threw her. I watched as she sailed through the air and hit a tree a couple feet away, she slid down and hit the forest floor with a soft 'oof.'

Rage enveloped me, Anger boiled deep in my system, as hot as lava. It churned within, hungry for destruction, and I knew it's too much for me to handle. I didn't hesitate for a second longer before I jumped at the vampire, sinking my large canines into it's dead skin.

How dare she heart my imprint! My mate! Mine!

"Protect the imprint!" I felt Paul scream through the pack bond, but I ignored him as I fought.

The vampire circled me dangerously, baring its teeth in challenge. I snarled back, every fiber of my being demanding compensation for my imprints pain.

A sudden gush of pain jolted throughout my body as she attacked too quickly to counter. She lunged, trying to catch me off guard as she feigned to my left. She grabbed me by my scruff and threw me. I skidded across the ground, leaving marks in the forest floor as a went. I got back on my feet and snarled at the vampire.

My stomach ached, my back lost tension and my legs began to weaken. "She will not get the better of me," I thought. My tongue was soaked in the taste of blood. I smiled wolfishly, leech blood.

Jaboc suddenly threw himself at the unsuspecting vampire, getting her around the neck.

The vampire thrashed in Jacob's jaws but he valiantly held strong. I heard a sickening crack as the vampires spine broke. Jacob dropped her instantly and began tearing her to peace faster then she could heal herself.

After a matter of minutes the only thing left of the vampire was fragments of flesh littered on the floor. Jacob instantly changed back, unconcerned about his nakedness he turned to the two wolves behind him.

"Quick! Get me something to burn the pieces with!" He snarled at the two functioning pack members. One of the wolves, Embry I suspected, instantly ran off to find something flammable to burn the pieces with. None of us wanted that thing to come back if we could help it.

I instantly changed back and stumbled over to where I had last seen the red-haired girl but when I reached the spot my heart dropped.

She was gone.


	2. Anemoia

    **Anemoia**

/kä(l)m/

_adjective_

  1. 1.

Nostalgia For A Time You've Never Known. "The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there."




* * *

       

     The thoughts were accelerating inside my head. I want them to slow so I could breathe but they wouldn't stop. My breaths came in gasps and I felt like I was going to black out. My heart is hammering inside my chest like it belongs to a rabbit running for its skin. I could feel bugs crawling over my skin, my face, my hair. Oh my God, oh my god. I was going to die. I opened my mouth to scream but no words came out. Instead dirt filled the crevices of my mouth looking to leave me no place. No room. The earth was cold, sucking up every bit of warmth my body had to offer.

Someone was walking above me and I tried to make noise again but nothing. The footsteps paused as I tried to scream again, but the cold earth silenced my sobs as I heard the sounds of footsteps getting further and further away...

My eyes shot wide and I bolted to a seated position. I frantically scratched at my arms to get the dirt off. But instead of brown crusted dirt my hands were met with smooth skin.

As I was pulled from my frantic panic I was first aware of the coolness of the air and it's loamy fragrance. The ground was lumpy as if I were on a bed of earth and rocks. My clothes felt as damp as a flower in the dew of the dawn, I involuntarily shuddered as chills fell down my spine. I half wondered if I was still dreaming as I looked upwards.

My eyes were met with a canopy high overhead so dense that barely any light was let through. I heard the sounds of birds and glanced around.

Where am I? Was my first thought as I observed my surroundings. A forest apparently. An early autumn morning and there was a frosty chill in the air. The sweet surrendering scent of the morning dew fills the forest with a scent that does not belong on earth. The dark shadows of the voluminous trees and the surrounding bushes had become the backbone of the forest. The trees stood as passive protectors of this peaceful place. As the autumn sun rose in a timely hurry as if trying to make up for setting too early the evening before, The mid-morning sky was a brilliant bright baby blue. As the morning developed the sound of young birds began to fulfill the air with a lovely feel, they chirped, tweeted and warbled incessantly.

Who am I? Was my second question.

I slowly climbed to my feet, it looked like I'd been attacked. My clothes were practically shredded off my body, yet my pale freckled skin underneath bore no scars. My feet were bare and covered in dirt and mud. I lightly touched the red, curly hair that hung to my hips. Grimacing when I found twigs snuggly nestled within it.

I looked around, now what?

I turned in a circle, observing the forest around me with with confusion. I glanced upward, my mouth pursed but slightly open and loose. My eyes are fixed at the trees overhead, there were worse places to be lost I suppose.

I just shrugged my shoulders, picked a direction, and started walking.

In this old growth forest the trees rise upward forever, the canopy above is distant, like clouds of green. Even with arms outstretched I would never even be able to reach even a fraction of the way around their gnarly bark trunks. Stepping carefully over the roots that knot the pathway, watching the freshly fallen rain seep into the soil, I am struck by a wish to melt in with it. Not to die, but to live forever amongst these ancient beings who cast the shadow in which I stand. There is a sacredness here that transcends everyday concerns, casting them into the timelessness of forests, of oceans, of mountains. Under these boughs I feel the breath of the Gods and hear the beauty of their creations; how can I not be at home here?

But as I felt the power I frowned as I pressed my hand against a tree to my right, this forest is dying. I'm not sure how I knew but I could practically feel the quiet hum of the forests energy beneath my fingers, but it was much too quiet, too inconsistent. It wouldn't last much longer like this... I snatched my hand back and shook my head, what did it matter to me?

As I wandered a hazy image began to form in my head like a mist slowly solidifying into existence, it was familiar in a way I couldn't understand. The farther I walked, the clearer the image in my mind became. After a little while I recognized that the image in my mind was a van, a white van. Somehow I knew that the van was important to me and that I needed to find it.

I continued to walk until I caught a glimpse of something other then green. My eyes widened as my head tilted back to see the sight before me.

The cliffs rose sheer from the forest, towering ramparts of stone that glinted jade-blue and dull crimson in the rising sun, and curved away and away to east and west above the waving emerald ocean of fronds and leaves. It looked insurmountable, that giant palisade with its sheer curtains of solid rock in which bits of quartz winked dazzlingly in the sunlight. I instantly made my way over to them, hoping to climb them and get a sense of where I was.

I reached the base of the cliff and didn't hesitate for a second before I began the climb. For a while I thought about nothing at all, just hand over hand, ledge after ledge. Climbing until I could do nothing else.

I was about half way up when suddenly the rock falls away beneath my bare feet. I know there is a ledge, otherwise I'd be falling, but I can't see it at all. If I turn my head too far I could unbalance and the drop is further than I can see. Already the adrenaline coursing unchecked, urging me to do what I cannot.

The blood is pumping through my veins but I ignore it. The adrenaline floods my system like it's on an intravenous drip - right into my blood at full pelt. I think my heart will explode and my eyes are wide, letting in every ounce of the fading light. My body wants to either run fast for the hills or jump to relative safety. I leap to a closer ledge. I grasp onto it desperately and It almost seems like it desperately grasped onto me.

My bare feet are cut up from trying to find perches in the rocks but I ignore them as I continue with my merciless pattern, hand over hand, foot over foot...

It wasn't long before I pulled myself onto a wider ledge and I found a permanent perch on it. The ledge was more like a rocky outcrop, rustic and rough. It was in keeping with the cliffs, only years old but made to look as if it were ancient.

I stood atop the rocky surface and raised my arms in victory. Wind swirled around me in an icy greeting and rain coated the cliff top. My eyes began to water as a wind whipped my bright red hair across my face. When I looked down at the dizzying drop, I was met with the forest in all its glory.

The landscape was every vivid colour, every one of them as fresh as a new painting straight from Rome. The brilliant greens banished every dark thought and the sky lifted the eye in a way that brought the villagers to admire the strands of drifting white cloud. The trees were deep with late spring foliage and the flowers rioted in the jubilant way that only the most divine of blooms can.

I placed a hand over my eyes to shield them from the rising sun and saw what appeared to be a treeline in the distance fading into something else. I couldn't be sure what was passed it, but I had nowhere else to go.

So with a newfound determination, I heaved myself over the side of the ledge and made my way back down the cliff and into the forest again.

After a couple of hours I stumbled out of the treeline into a road, the road was empty since it appeared to be fairly early in the morning. I wandered along the outside of the forest border for a while until I came across a parking lot containing only one vehicle, a white van. I instantly booked it over to the vehicle and yanked on the door handle, but growled as I discovered it was locked.

I walked around the van a couple of times, peering in the windows to try and find why it was so important. I suddenly spotted a little circle on the side of the car and realised it was its gas cap.

I pulled it open and a set of keys fell out. I squealed with excitement as I picked them up. There was only one key on the keychain, It didn't take me long to unlock the passenger side door.

I hopped in the car and began searching around, not entirely sure what I was looking for.

I hastily pulled down the sun visor and a wallet fell out onto my lap. I opened the wallet and found my own face staring back at me.

I looked slightly bored in the photo, staring straight at the camera with a blank face. But it was my eyes that betrayed my amusement, I wondered what I had found so funny at the time.

I stared at the card displayed in a clear plastic front of the wallet and realised it was a drivers license.  _My_ drivers license.

It boldly displayed the words 'Calipso Raven,' on the front and I frowned. That name sounded familiar. I said it out loud, testing to see how it sounded on my tongue and I was surprised to find that I liked it. It was unique, It was  _mine._

I shoved my driver's license back into the sun visor and unlocked the vans back doors, marveling at what I saw.

In the back of the van was like a gypsies tent. Different blankets hung from every corner to the point where there wasn't an inch of exposed wall. It was like one giant bed.

I jumped in and wiggled around, it was  _so_ comfy.

On the right near the tinted windows was a little shelf bolted to the side of the van. On the shelf was a bunch of different plants I didn't recognise. There was a small chest next to the shelf that I pried open with much effort. I found a bag of plant soil, a container of freeze dried mealworms, a couple bottles of water and a sack full of stones. I stared quizzically at my surroundings, I knew that this van had belonged to me, but I didn't recognise any of the stuff I apparently owned.

I threw everything back into the trunk and began to close it before hesitating. I pulled one of the bottles of water out of the chest and tenderly watered the plants positioned at the window.

I had noticed that past-me had parked the car out of the shade so the plants would get some sun while I was gone. They obviously were important to past-me so I couldn't just let them die, that would be rude. It would be like breaking into someone's house and killing their dog.

I frowned as I noticed that some of the plants were wilted, having been left without care for far too long, how long had I been gone?

I estimated about a week based off of the brown color creeping through the dark green of my plants.

I gently placed my hand against the wilted leaf of the closest plant, maybe it was just my imagination. But I could have sworn that it perked up slightly, not a lot but just enough to give the little guy a fighting chance.

I shook my head, ridiculous.

I crawled back out and got into the driver's seat again, nervously glancing at all the different knobs and buttons in front of me. Did I know how to drive? According to my license I do, but I don't remember how.

I stuck the key into the ignition and turned it on, happy when the car let out a soft purr. That felt like a small success at least.

I marveled for a second before stopping, now what? I didn't have anywhere to go, I wasn't even sure where I was. I stared at the shift on the side of the wheel, I had a nagging feeling it was pretty important. I pulled the shift towards me and the van began to roll forward.

I screeched and pushed it back into place, breathing a sigh of relief as the van stopped moving.

I carefully pulled the shift again but pressed down on one of the petals, breaks, right. Breaks are important.

I (Carefully) pulled out of the small parking lot and went down the road. I ignored the pain that shot up my leg as my scratched and bloodied feet worked the petals, I had a feeling I'd had worse.

The sun was just beginning to peak up over the horizon and I stared at my surroundings, where am I? Does it even matter?

The scene was beautiful around me as I drove into the distance I couldn't help but feel a sense of peace. The sun rose like a flower opening, gifting its petals unto the world. I was surrounded by trees on both sides, and I could faintly see what appeared to be a beach in the distance. Amid the dancing raindrops was the blush of scarlet, the warmth of tangerine. Gazing toward the illuminated clouds, still beneath the ethereal glow, I felt at home in a way I never had before. I briefly glanced at a sign as I drove by. 'Welcome to Forks' and I smiled.

Welcome indeed.

 

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

 

Leah's POV

My only comfort was I knew she wasn't dead.

I'm not sure  _how_ I knew, all I know is that if she was dead I would know. And she wasn't.

I stared at the cracks in Emily's ceiling, memorizing the rough texture in its unorthodox pattern. Sam had insisted that I stay with them until they found the red haired girl, but until then I was too unstable. I had already shifted over stubbing my toe on the dresser, I was in no position to be in a high stress situations.

That being said, I was on the verge of a panic attack.

We had searched the entire forest for any trace of my imprint but found nothing. The only thing we found was a scent trail that led up to the cliffs and disappeared.

I paced back and forth as I thought of everything that was wrong with this.

First off: I didn't know her  _name,_ I didn't even have a great scent trail off of her because of the vampire who'd attacked her! She obviously wasn't from around here because someone from my pack would have recognized her if she was. And now we had no idea where she was! Who was she? And what was she doing in the forest; being chased by a vampire? Not too many strangers made their way to La Push; it wasn't really a tourist hotspot. Even if the girl was new to Forks, I was sure I would have heard something about her. Forks was a small town, and things got around fast. And whatever got around Forks always got around La Push.

The voice in my head just kept screaming no. I felt something deep inside me trying to pull me back in the direction I had just come from, back in the direction she was in, but I fought it as hard as I could.

But I would control it! Damn what they said about imprinting, I would fight it! I could feel myself being drawn involuntarily to her, and I stopped pacing abruptly and planted my feet hard into the ground, standing firm, fighting the urge to go looking for her again.

I sat down on my bed, ignoring the groan of protest it gave out as it did. Oh God, we're never going to find her.

My eyes darted around the room, back and forth, back and forth, as if I were going to find her there. Of course I didn't, and I felt almost sick. I felt my body begin to shake slightly, and I groaned, dropping my head to my hands and taking a deep breath. I was hoping it would loosen up my chest, but it didn't.

I listened to the storm pattering against Emily's ceiling and the comforting scent of rain. I watched drops of water hit the floor in arcs from a peak in the roof.

It was sweet irony that I had ended up here, under this roof with  _that couple._

I pictured her face; her open, terrified face. Her lithe, graceful steps, her beautiful eyes. I pictured her pale, porcelain skin and her small petite features. She looked so small, so tiny, standing there alone in the middle of the tall trees. Like a porcelain doll. And as I pictured her something in my mind screamed at me to go to her.

Though the water had dripped slower than the second hand on a clock, the floorboards were warped, undulating like a November ocean. Each drop fell cleanly into the surface puddle, sending out ripples to the edges.

_drip_

_drip_

_drip_

I placed my head in my hands momentarily, rubbing my face as if it could get rid of the dull throb in my temples.

I knew that imprinting could be painful….but I never realised just  _how_ bad it could be.

I was drawn out of depressing thoughts as seth poked his head in through the door.

"Uhhh Leah?" he called to me. He looked a little concerned and I suppressed the urge to growl at him, if he really cared then he could go  _find_ her.

I let out a deep sigh. "What do you want Seth? I'm busy wallowing in self pity." The anxiety sat below my smile, my actions, my silly jokes... It is there like over- caffienation but without the option not to drink a cup. So there I am, all amped up with no escape.

A contagious grin stretched over Seth's face, I'm assuming he was amused by my weak attempt at a joke. "Yeah yeah, Emily just wanted to let you know that dinners ready."

He said that like it was  _his house._ When Sam insisted I say here, the others assumed that invitation extended to them as well. Based off Sam's reactions so far, they were  _very_ mistaken.

I was glad they were here with me, so I wasnt stuck under this roof with them by myself. I dont think I would have been able to take it.

I thought about going down and joining the rest of the pack, but food just didn't seem appealing to me. I opened my mouth to decline when I saw the look on Seth's face, worry.

I grimaced when I realised how strange I had been acting, but I couldn't help it. The others in the pack that had imprinted had had  _way_ more sympathy for me then those who hadn't, because they understood. None of them had said anything, but while we were phased I could feel all of their sympathy towards my current predicament. Quil hadn't even been able to  _fathom_ being away from Claire for as long as I'd been from my imprint.

"Yeah, sure. Okay." I said, getting to my feet to follow him out. He turned around quickly but I didn't miss the wide grin that had covered his face beforehand.

It was almost worth it as we made it downstairs and I saw a wide smile break out on everyone's faces.

"Damn, it's alive." Paul said shamelessly.

I managed a halfhearted growl before plopping down into the seat next to him.

Everyone continued with their conversations but I didn't miss the concern in their eyes. I knew I looked like shit. It had only been a week since I'd imprinted but I already looked like I'd been through hell.

Dark circles were prominent under my eyes, which was a feat considering my skin wasn't as pale as it could be. I hadn't eaten in a while, a week was a long time for a human, much less a werewolf.

I could feel a steady pounding in my head. It wasn't quite like a headache, but it was just there. Most of the pain I felt was in my chest. Like it was being constricted somehow. Every breath I drew in felt heavy, short somehow. Like I just couldn't bring in enough air.

Emily smiled and slid a plate of pasta over to me, I took it even though I really didn't want to. I slowly began shoveling spaghetti in my mouth. I had worried them enough, there was no point in me starving to death before I could properly meet my imprint.

I smiled slightly. Imagining what she was like. The girl of my dreams would be creative. Durable. Willing to get dirty even if she was wearing her favorite shirt. I wondered if my imprint had a favorite shirt, I wondered if she'd ever let me see it.

I was so lost in my daydream that I didn't notice Sam enter the room. His presence was enough to cease all conversation at the table as everyone waited for him to speak.

I looked up suddenly, our eyes met and I waited for that familiar rush of anger that hit me whenever I saw him, but I felt...nothing. how could I be angry at him for what he did? If our places had been reversed I would have left him in a heartbeat, he at least had the decency to be upset about it. My eyes trailed over to the long scratches down the side of my cousins face.

"So." Sam began, instantly getting everyone's attention. "Leah's imprint."

The rest of my pack shifted uncomfortably as she was mentioned, apparently uncomfortable with the prospect of me imprinting on a girl. I sat a little straighter at that, I knew that we'd have to have this discussion eventually, I'd just hoped it'd be  _after_ we had found her. I sighed, that obviously wasn't going to be an option.

"She was obviously chased into our territory."

Embry said, almost somberly. He'd always been the more empathetic of the group. He wanted to find my imprint all most as badly as I did, which is a feat in of itself.

Sam nodded his head. "Based off of the scent you had picked up off of them, the vampire had killed a lot more people before we found it."

I nodded, the stench of death had been so overpowering that we hadn't even noticed the girl at first. My stomach twisted, what if it was people my imprint knew? Had she been there when it happened? Was she going to be okay? The need to find her suddenly doubled, but I forced my instincts down. I had already been chased down by Sam when she first disappeared, we didn't have time for me to lose it again. I don't remember much of what happened but Jacob said I'd phased and tried to go into town. I shuddered, it would have been disastrous if I'd succeeded.

"Has there been any disappearances? Murders? Anything that could have caused it? The girl had obviously been-" Sam stopped and looked at me for a second, I felt my heart drop again. We'd all been ignoring the fact that my Imprint could have been bitten by the bloodsucker."-injured. So she couldn't have ran far."

We all knew it was a rhetorical question, Sam had undoubtedly already checked all of those things beforehand. But he was making a point for us to watch out for trouble, even in human form. The pack had a tendency to ignore things in human form that they never would have as a wolf.

"Also," Sam said, "This means we're going to have to set up more patrols." The others groaned but I just nodded my head. The more people we had out there, the faster I'd find my imprint.

"You might not be the only one's looking," Emily said as she brought more food over, setting it in the middle of the table. She went to the cupboard to grab plates.

"What do you mean?" asked Embry.

"Well," she went on as she brought the plates over and sat next to Sam, "from the other side's perspective…" She looked at Sam lovingly, then over to me. "You're not the only one it will have an effect on. When Sam imprinted on me…I mean, I was upset and angry, you know, because of the whole..." she looked at me uncomfortably. "Thing. But there was other stuff too. I…I needed to look at him, to see him or be near him, even though I was upset about it all. I could feel it physically. Something didn't just change in him…it changed in me too."

I didnt miss the hope in her eyes, the hope that once we found my imprint things would go back to the way they were. I might not have been as angry as I used to be, perhapse even understanding, but it would be a long time before I forgave them for the hell they put me through. I suddenly felt like crying, I didnt want to be thinking about this, I just wanted my imprint.

"That's not a good thing," I growled. "She knows even less about this crap then I do! She'll be feeling this stuff…even pain maybe…and she'll have no idea what the hell it is!" The idea of her being in any kind of pain just made the pain in my chest worse.

Emily gave me a small smile as she dished up a plate. "But maybe she'll connect what she's feeling with…here, with this place. Maybe she'll notice it happened after she came here, and she'll come back."

I ran a hand through my hair. "As far as she knows she got attacked by a vampire and barely survived being eaten by giant wolves, I dont think she'll come back here."

As soon as the words left my mouth i knew they were true. She had no reason to come back to La Push after what had happened. My heart dropped to my feet, this was it for me, wasnt it? Life just loved to screw me over, first Sam and now...her.

The conversation started up again but I couldn't find it in myself to follow along.

I looked out the back door, splattered with its hazy rain, making a soft  _pitter patter_ as it went. I couldn't help but think about my imprint again.

_'where are you?'_


	3. Sanctuary

sanc·tu·ar·y

/ˈsaNGk(t)SHəˌwerē/

_noun_

  1. 1.

a place of refuge or safety.

* * *

 




"We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto." I muttered as I drove.

I'd been lost for so long it's what I was used to, kinda like a person who gets used to being beat I suppose. It's not that I like it, quite the opposite. Being lost sucked. There's nothing more lonely, nothing that brings more desolation to the soul.

Softly splashing water droplets hit the car windows as I drove onwards. The skies were overhung with a blanket of grey, so much so that I could barely tell the difference between the sky and clouds. Despite car rides feeling tedious, the rain commonly calmed me - I watched raindrops race down to the windows. The occasional wave of a puddle could be exciting, but I'd rather be outside in those puddles than stuck in this car.

There are days the tiredness comes in both forms, physical and mental. My body needed to rest yet my mind needed to move, to burn the anxiety right out. Without exercise my mind would keep me up all night long, without rest my body will spiral into exhaustion.

I looked at the digital clock on my dashboard,  _10:42 am._

I sighed as my gas light turned on, i reached over the steering wheel and tapped the glass that separated me from the controls. The warning didn't change.

This simply wasn't my day.

I pulled my van (Which I had fondly nicknamed Toto) over to the side of the road. I had managed to get myself out of the forest area into a little town, impulsively swerving into a neighborhood.

_'Well, now what?'_

I glanced at my surroundings to see if I could get anyone to help me. When the house I'd pulled in front of caught my attention.

It was box-shaped with it's front door dead center, four small windows near each corner and constructed of the same red brick as The Bell. A path made out of leftover bricks made a shallow S-shape between the gate and the front door.

Making up my mind, I carefully dropped out of the white van hesitantly putting my bare feet on the blacktop, hissing when they made contact.

It took a couple attempts but I managed to lock the doors, as the button on my keychain didn't appear to work.

I walked up the front steps, looking completely insane as my hair stuck out at odd angles and clothes were torn. I looked down and noticed that my feet were covered in blood. Fabulous for first impressions, undoubtedly.

Quickly bringing my hand up, a wrapped on the door twice and stepped back, suddenly unsure of myself.

I was startled as the door was pulled open, revealing a girl about my age. The girl stood with a hip jutted to one side, her right arm draped across her slender body, clasping the elbow opposite. Her head lolled down to one shoulder casting her Auburn hair onto the faded t-shirt that was two sizes too big. It hung so low that her shorts only just peeked below the dirty hem, a fringe of denim cut-offs. Her static eyes had picked a patch of concrete with nothing to distinguish. Large bags were visible beneath her eyes, she looked like she'd been through hell.

"Can I help you?" she asked softly.

"Um…" I replied stupidly, wringing my hands. "My car ran out of gas and I was wondering if you could..help me?" I asked.

She grimaced. Looking off past me as if she could see something I couldn't. "Charlie would know how to help but ran out...I don't know anything about cars."

"Shoot." I muttered. My eyes instinctively lowered to her shirt and I froze. Suddenly, I thrusted a finger forward, jabbing at the worn grey material. "What's that from?" I asked, my voice slightly hysteric.

She looked down at her shirt and back at me. "This?" She asked. "Its a Panic! At the disco band t-shirt." She said with a fond smile."Well," she said cutting herself off. "I call it a band but-"

"Everyone knows it's just Brendon Urie." We finished at the same time.

She smiled at me in happy surprise, happiness looked good on her. "Favorite song?" She asked hurriedly.

"Death Of A Bachelor." I said, it felt like a knee jerk response.

"Album?"

"Again, Death Of A Bachelor."

She hummed, crossing her arms. "Respectable but, take into consideration: A Fever You Can't Sweat Out."

I laughed. "I knew I heard bitterness about Brendon Urie solo-ing it. So you liked the band then?"

She shrugged with a cheeky grin. "Call me old fashion."

I gestured to the both of us. "This," I said. "Is many things, but old fashion is _not_ one of them.”

She laughed.

We were sucked into an awkward silence that made my skin crawl. I rubbed my arms as a chill crawled up my spine.

"Anyway," I coughed. "I'll just ask someone else.." I began, starting to leave.

"No!" she yelled, looking desperate. I froze.

"I-I mean, he should be back soon, so you should just wait for him." She said quickly. I opened my mouth to respond as I was pulled into the house.

"Should I wait outside?" I asked shyly. "I'm all dirty."

"You can take a shower here if you want, then you can tell me about-" she gestured to my whole body. "This. Plus, we need to set your Panic! At the Disco facts straight."

I nodded my head with a small smile, that seemed fair.

Hope beads my skin like dew on spring grass. I feel it radiating in to soothe my blood. If forms such perfect spheres, each one like a tiny world of its own. I can't know for sure that today will be better than yesterday, or if this is time we win, but I'm optimistic and that's the best I can say.

"The showers upstairs to the right, I'll grab you some of my clothes to wear when you get out."

"That's really not-"

"It's fine." she said loudly. And for the first time I realized why she was doing this. She needed a distraction. The bags underneath her eyes suddenly seemed more prominent, the paleness of her skin seemed Less like porcelain and more sickly. I pressed my lips into a fine line and nodded my head, she needed just as much help as I did. And if this helped her, then I'd keep my mouth shut. She dragged me across the kitchen towards the stairs.

"My name's Bella."

"Calypso." I answered automatically.

She smiled at my response. It didn't look genuine, she looked so...sad.

"That's Unique, I like it. I've met tons of people with the name Bella, my real name's Isabella, actually." she rambled.

I smiled and nodded my head unsure what to say. I followed her up the stairs and she pulled me into a bedroom, looking around the setting was a fairly blank in their boxes in the corner.

"Where do you live?" She asked passively.

"Oh y'know," I replied ungracefully. "Around."

Her comforter was pulled over her bed, even though she hadn't cleaned it. The result was lumps of varying sizes and shapes and the comforter was weighed down by her laptop. A desk sat in one corner, littered with wadded up pieces of paper and pens. A few shelves were pushed against the walls and filled with books. Some books sat on the floor in front of the shelves. A long string of boxes were shoved in a corner.

"Did you just move here?" I asked. She looked over at the boxes I'd noticed. "Not really, we moved here a while ago I just haven't gotten around to unpacking completely yet." she replied with a soft smile.

"That's cool." I said nodding my head "Do you like it here?" I asked.

She frowned is she dug through her closet.

"It's very rainy, it wasn't that way in Arizona when I left." I nodded my head again.

"That makes sense." I've never been to Arizona as far as I know but I had a feeling it the weather was very different from here.

"Have you been there?" She asked, watching me from her peripheral.

I shrugged again. "Maybe." I said simply.

"So where are you from?" she asked as she pulled a t-shirt out of the closet comparing it to my chest to see if it would fit. We were about the same size. "Does it matter?" I replied passively.

Her brown eyes snapped up to mine clearly confused.

"You hide a lot, don't you?"

I almost swallowed my gum, turning to take in the expressionon my new friend's face. Her gaze was steady, eyes wide like an innocent child, I released a short sharp breath. This wasn't even fourth date material and this new girl wanted to play see-through-skin. "How do you mean?"

The girl paused before answering, her tone dropping to a softer octave. "You could just cut it out and let me in you know, let me into that head of yours." This time I took a physical step backward. The girl just watched, eyes still like headlights on full beam, expression serene...

"You freaked out when you rememberd the band name...why is that?

I looked at her for a long, hard moment. Weighing the pros and cons in my head. I had just met this girl, just because we like the same band doesn't mean she wouldn't try to take advantage of my memory loss. I shook my head at that, somehow it seemed unlikely. It would be better for me to explain the situation to someone in case I go missing, or forget something again. I stopped at that. Could I possibly forget something else? Would I continue to lose more of my memories?

"I have some memory problems." I said quickly, making up my mind at that terrifying thought.

"...Do you know how you got like....this?" She said, gesturing to me.

She asked hesitantly clearly worried about the answer. I shook my head and looked around the room a little bit more, tracing my hands against the bedpost. "I woke up in the middle of the forest dressed like this."

I said gesturing down to my torn clothes. "I think something bad might have happened but I don't remember what. I found a van and I know it's mine, I found my drivers license in there. I just don't remember anything. it looks like I've been living out of the van." I said quietly. "I think I might have been homeless before that."

She looked down at her hands again "I'm sorry to hear that but shouldn't you go to the police, or I guess Charlie?" she said with a laugh.

"Charlie?" I asked.

"Yeah he's my uncle that I've been staying with."

"You would think the policeman's daughter would know better then to let strangers into her house." I said.

She laughed. "I'm generally a pretty good judge of character and you look like you needed help. Plus, any Panic! At the Disco fan is a friend of mine."

I nodded my head and looked down at my hands.

"Thank you for helping me, Bella."

Her silence was somehow comforting and spoke for itself, it was peaceful in a way where you could feel at home and know that no matter what was happening, she was forever there for you. We both had a silent understanding of each other, almost as if fate had brought us together.

"We could go out to eat?" she said almost hopefully. I looked around for a second "That sounds alright with me, but where to?"

She seem to get excited digging through her clothes for her phone she pulled it out and entered in a passcode, scrolling through it.

"I found this great place a couple days ago. I've had a lot of free time recently." I couldn't help but notice how bitterly she said that. "I've been doing a lot of exploring I could show you around if you want, maybe you'll remember something!"

She looked so hopeful I couldn't bear to shoot her down I had a feeling that my memories wouldn't come back that easily.

"Of course I'll go with you Bella."

"All right!" she said excitedly, first bumping the air. "But first, you're taking a shower and we're getting a shirt on you."

I groaned as she held out a pastel pink shirt, maybe this was a mistake.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

The tiny café huddled despondent among the huge trees. Washed out under the overcast sky, it hunched in itself, fighting against the drizzle. Few people rushed by it, outside on the desolate street. The half a dozen customers glanced up as the door swung open, heralded by a blast of cold wind. Unlike the outside, the interior of the café was warm and cheery, with bright lights and colourful walls. The customers returned to their conversations as the door swung closed behind the new entrant and the cold breeze was forgotten.

I looked around with a smile, my hands stuffed snugly into the pockets of a coat Bella had lent me.

Bella grabbed my arm and pulled me over to an empty table by the door, silently telling me to sit down.

It's early and the machines are yet to warm, so I ponder this chance to rest a moment longer, to drink in the aroma of this place. Bella has tired eyes, yet there is that glimmer, a give away of her good heart. She's one of those surviving sparks, one of the ones who held on to who they really are.

"This place is adorable!" I exclaimed in excitement.

I see her spark glow a little brighter, her face more relaxed, a smidge of joy in her eyes.

"I know, right? I found this place a couple days back. It's a real hole-in-the-wall."

I laugh unexpectedly, and I know that I'm feeling that tiny bit better too, "I'm glad you did," I poked at the lights hanging next to my head. "This place even has fairy lights!"

She shook her head before handing me a menu. "Do you want a burger?" she asked kindly.

I frowned. Something just didn't seem right about that sentenced to me. "I don't eat meat." I said firmly.

She seemed surprised. "You're vegetarian?"

"Yes?" I replied, surprised to find it sounded like a question.

The more I thought about it, the more right it sounded. Yes, I am homeless. And vegetarian. And possible clinically insane. I looked down at my tan hands, wondering what past-me had used them for. Was I a writer? A chef? Perhapse an artist?

"So what exactly happ-" Bella began before being interrupted by a waiter.

"So, what can I get for you ladies?" A teenage boy, a couple years younger then me asked.

The waiter took our order with all the efficiency of a toddler tying their laces with mittens on. He seemed to forget what we had told him before the words had even left our lips, so that we had to repeat everything so many times it was absurd. He had the air of a person in shock, someone who'd brain was lost somewhere else, struggling to deal with some unseen issue. When we asked him to describe a new item on the menu he took on the look of a startled rabbit and then spoke so fast that one word ran into the next. When he finished speaking we were none the wiser but nodded politely and ordered something else. Then looking relieved that the ordeal of taking our order was over the waiter rushed to the kitchen almost tripping over another patron's foot.

I let out a small giggle, surprised when Bella joined in.

"I thought  _I_ was the one with memory problems." I said quietly.

Her eyes lit up as she laughed a little harder.

"He looked so  _scared._ I've never seen someone more afraid of two five-foot-four woman before!" she said hurriedly. I snorted in response, but quickly covered it up as the waiter came back with our food.

He ungracefully set two plates on the table, nearly smacking me in the process. The plates made a loud 'clang' as the ceramic material made contact with the wooden table, the waiter muttered an apology before scuttling off.

Me and Bella looked down at the food we'd been given and promptly  _burst_ into laughter.

It wasn't  _at all_ what we'd ordered.

It was a laughter that I could feel in my lungs, so hard that it took my breath away. The lack of oxygen didn't matter. All the anguish of the past few days melted like snowballs in a microwave. This laughter created a small vacation, a blessed relief from all the distress that shoved its way into my brain. For a single moment, the lack memories was unimportant.

Once out laughed quieted down, I looked Bella in the eyes and knew she felt the same way. The silence was comforting as we looked at each other, understanding shining in our eyes.

"Thank you, Calypso." she said with a tenderness in her voice I couldn't comprehend.

"I just… I really needed this. Thank you."

Her content expression seemed to crumble before my very eyes. Those brown pools of light were covered by the glassiness of forming tears. She looked away from me, as if ashamed of her emotions.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, suddenly nervous.

She looked out the window and began to sniffle, that facade of happiness beginning to waver even further. Soft wisps of that pale honey hair swept past an ear and caressed the skin of her neck, jaw, cheeks and around her rather beautiful, deep eyes. Those cerulean-glass eyes rimmed with thick, long, dark lashes that brushed her cheeks every time she closed her eyes. Suffering, loneliness, longing, desire; her eyes held all those deep seated emotions and many more.

"Oh honey," I said. Reaching over the table to grasp one of her pale, porcelain hands between my own. She was so cold. "What is it?"

She angrily wiped at her eyes. "Its nothing...its just...My boyfriend...left." she struggled out. Her voice cracking so hard she had to pause for a moment.

"Left?" I asked softly, wanting clarification.

"Yes," she said harshly. "He packed up his things and left." I drew back slightly at her hostility, worried I'd upset her. But she was looking off into the distance and I knew it wasn't me she was spiteful of.

"What's his name?"

"Edward." she said the word like a sigh. As if saying his name was a simple relief from the hell she'd grown to associate with life.

"Tell me the full story." I said, not as a question but a demand.

And she did.

She began talking almost immediately, speaking of a man who'd found her when she had just moved here and made her feel special, then broke her. He told her he didn't love her then left like a leaf in the wind.

Her description was almost too raw to hear, too vulnerable and exposed. She had laid herself utterly bare before my eyes. Continuing to listen felt like peeking in her windows and learning things one should never know unless it is about someone you profoundly love. Yet by doing so so told a tale that couldn't fail to invoke empathy in all but the hardest of hearts. She obviously loved this man, even now.

I wanted to say something multiple times, but realised that she just needed someone to talk to, not someone to respond. So I obediently nodded my head, and made the occasional noise of acknowledgment.

I got the feeling that she wasn't telling me everything, as most of her story didn't add up. Still, I vehemently stated quiet, she needed to get this out if her system.

Her description said nothing about the person she was describing and everything about herself - her paranoias, fears, prejudices. It spoke of her anger and self deprecating tenancies. Every word she said betrayed one more thing about the man, but the crazy thing is hardly a person in a thousand heard it.

"And I haven't seen him since." She finished. Her eyes glassy, as if stuck in a memory of yesterday.

She looked out the window. "Sometimes...I can still hear him."

"I'm sorry." I said, unsure of what to say. A familiar tugging of my heartstrings felt throughout my body. I had a feeling past-me had always been empathetic.

There was another silence, but this wasn't of understanding but...solemness. we had both lost something dear to us, both of us left unsure of what the future foretold of us.

"Do you want to move on?" I asked quietly, needing her to wonder that for herself. For her to ask herself if she was willing to wallow in the past, or attempt to move on.

Her head shot up and she eyed me wearily. Her brown eyes shone brightly, reflecting the warmth of the sun. They were such a unique colour, a mix of light and dark. They looked at my green eyes now, so big and beautiful, so much emotion held inside.

"What do you mean?" she asked, the strength in her voice having returned. A ghost of a smile formed on my lips. "I mean, do you want to get over him?"

She looked out the diner window, looking so sad and alone. Like she'd rather be out there, with him. Which she probably did.

"I'm not sure." she whispered.


	4. Onism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pls leave nice comments I've had a bad day

O•ni•sm

/əˈTHirēəl/

adjective

1\. The frustration of being stuck in one body.

* * *

The store was wedged between a series of trees. It looked squeezed, as if the forest was closing in. The sign was old, some letters had become illegible in the peeling paint. But the window was clean and the artifacts on display were clearly antique. There was no theme to them or colour coordination and they were crammed together rather than artistically arranged. Bella pushed the door and a bell rang. It was far longer than it was wide, almost a corridor with shelving spanning both sides. It was pristine.

Bella immediately bounded deeper into the store, presumably to find whatever she had dragged me here for.

I glanced around the shelves and spotter a wooden crate further in a corner, a heat lamp was precariously perched on top, shooting warm beams of light into it. Curiosity got the better of me and I wandered over, glancing inside. I smiled softly as I spotted a group of rabbits snuggled into wood clippings, enjoying the heat lamps warmth. When a specific one caught my eye.

The rabbit cowered in the corner of his pen, unlike his sibling he had never gotten used to the petting or being out in the daylight. All he saw was predators coming with their forward looking eyes and nowhere to hide. Perhaps for him it's like being in a jail cell with some alien beast coming at him, making some noise it thinks is soothing; but he can't tell that it isn't calling its monster mates to join in the kill. I try to imagine that creature out of "Alien" asking for a hug and poking a chocolate bar at me. Sure it's good food, but I hardly think I'd have an appetite right then.

I lowered myself on the floor so I could be eye level with the tiny rabbit, trying to let it know I wasnt an enemy. It twitches its nose uncertaintly, watching me with hesitant black eyes.

I slowly reached a hand out forward, I made no noise. Just watching. With small movements, the rabbit moved over to my tan hand and sniffed, before snuggling up against it. Testing the waters.

I smiled.

"Wow," A voice spoke up from behind me. "I've never seen that little guy get close to anyone before. He's generally pretty careful."

Startled, I pulled my hand back and swiveled my head to look at the woman. She was casual, but smartly dressed in jeans, a hipster jacket and a neck scarf. Her face was made up, but not over done and her long black hair was pulled back into a pony-tail. She smiled kindly at me, brown eyes full of amusement.

I smiled as I turned back to the small brown rabbit. "Sometimes you just have to be empathetic." I said softly. "How much for him?"

A range if emotions flashed over the workers dark features. Before settling on content as they saw the rabbit interact with me, his black eyes seeming content.

"He's free."

My eyebrows shot up. "What?"

She smiled, her teeth stark against her dark skin. "You heard me, I own the store and I want this little guy to be happy, so he's yours."

"I couldn't possibly-" I began before being cut off.

"We'll take him!" Bella said loudly. Clasping a hand on my shoulder. I jumped, spooking the rabbit into running to the other side of his enclosure.

"Great!" the woman exclaimed. "I'll go get everything you'll need!" She said as she shuffled away.

I stood up from my crouch and turned to Bella. "You know I'm living out of my van, right? I don't have anywhere to put him!"

"It'll be fine." she said, absently waving her hand. "I can watch after him until you get everything figured out. But more importantly, what are you going to name him?"

I looked down at the small brown rabbit. "Remme." I said without hesitation. "He looks like a Remme." (pronounced Rem-eey).

Bella placed a finger on her chin, looking thoughtful. "I like it!"

"What did you end up getting?" I asked, changing the subject.

She brightened up and pushed a brown paper bag into my arms. I looked down at the bag and then back at her curiously. "Open it." she encouraged.

I peeked inside cautiously, only to smile when I saw the contents. It was a plastic hula girl, the kind you attach to your dashboard as you drive. "Thanks Bella." I said, amused.

She smiled and threw me a thumbs up. "Any car will feel more homey with one of these."

I nodded my head in agreement when suddenly the woman from earlier emerged from the shelves. In her dark arms she held a large box with various brushes and treats.

"Here you go!" he exclaimed, throwing the box into my arms. Bella snatched up the small rabbit upfrom the corner of the crate and threw it in the box with the rest of its necessities. "Bella!" I exclaimed. "Be more careful!"

"Okay, okay." she said bashfully.

Bella held the door open for me as we exited the store, I called back a thanks to the owner as I left. Smiling when she called back in a friendly manner.

Me and Bella walked back to her car in comfortable silence. I maneuvered the box so it'd fit in the hideous truck she owned.

I climbed in and strapped myself down for dear life.

She pulled onto the road and we drove in silence, both comfortably lost in thought.

"Charlie should be finished with your van by the time we get back." Bella said. "What's your plan?"

I looked at her out if my peripheral. It had been too easy to forget that I was some sort of weird rebound for her ex. "I'll probably just drive around for a little bit longer. Look at the sights." I answered honestly. "You're welcome to come with me." I offered.

"I had fun today...but, I need to take baby steps." she said, eyes trained on the road.

"Oh, yeah," I said, trying to sound understanding. "I totally get it, it's no problem."

She tilted her head to smile at me. "Tomorrow maybe?"

I smiled. "Tomorrow."

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

The road seemed to stretch infinitely before me. The green of the trees passed me by in one methodical blur. I turned a corner and smiled as the plastic hula girl on my dashboard wiggled.

I focused back on the road and realised that I had come back the way I came as I entered La Push again.

I pulled over on the side of the road and hopped out. Making my way to the back of my van, I opened It to find Remme buried amongst my blankets. I crawled in, mindful of Remme and shut the door behind me.

I stayed there for a while, watching Remme discover various parts of my van.

He stopped suddenly and began to paw at the plastic bag with his food in it.

"Awww. Are you hungry? Don't worry I'll get you some." I opened the bag, then paused.

I didn't particularly want to dump the rabbit food onto my blankets. "I probably have some sort of dish in here, right?" I muttered as I threw open the bug chest in the corner of my van and began digging through it.

I noticed something strange about the bottom of the chest. I sat back and looked at how deep it looked from the inside and how deep it actually was.

Their was at least 4 inches missing from the bottom.

I reached my hand in the trunk and felt around before my fingers brushed against a small groove, hardly noticeable but still there. I carefully wrapped my hand around the sides and yanked upwards.

It had a false bottom.

I gently set the wood to the side and glanced down at what had been previously hidden. The first thing that grabbed my attention was a knife.

The dagger lay cold in my hands. It was short at four inches but so sharp even the most gentle of touches to flesh would result in a free bleeding cut. It's handle was carved mahogany and looked old, it made me wonder if it had once belonged to an other knife.

I tilted it to the side slightly and stopped as I realised something was carved into the side of the handle.

"δεν θέτει ερ?τήσεις και δεν λέ? ψέματα." It read in bold, curvy writing. I sat and stared at the message for a moment, before looking down at what else was in the trunk.

Bound in red leather, cracked and dry with age, the thin volume smells faintly of pipe tobacco and dust. The pages within are brittle and what remains of the book's original stitching is barely holding it together.

I begin to reach for it, but pause. A sudden sense of doom had settled in my stomach.

I got the feeling that I wasn't ready to find whatever was in the book.

I put it back and grabbed another.

The book was old and heavy, the leather felt soft and delicate as I ran my fingers over the faded blue bindings. I fingered the gold lettering carefully before I opened the cover, paper rustled as I thumbed through the book to find what I was looking for. Words appeared and disappeared as my eyes flitted across the pages, quickly picking out anything of importance from the jumble of sentences that littered the world I had become immersed in.

The farther I read, the more uneasy I began to feel. At one point, a sharp spike of adrenaline spiked through me and I slammed the book shut. Remme started, bolting to the farthest corner of the van.

"Ah, I'm sorry Rem, I never got around to feeding you." I said, quickly shoving the books back inside the chest and situating the false bottom.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

I wandered into the forest, breathing in deeply through my lungs. I gently swayed Remme back and forth in my arms in time with wind, a relaxing sound to my ears. The roots cascade from the baked hard ground, jets of rough brown bark looping and turning until they join the tree that towers above - a crazy highway of water from deep down. I want to cast my eyes to the canopy, a myriad of greens, to see the sharp beams of sunlight poking through. From time to time I pause for a moment to do just that, but walking means looking at my feet or I'll soon be sprawled on the dirt with an opportunistic twig up my nose.

The path I had taken through the meadow was as visible as any trail in a fresh snowfall. The tall grasses, inflexible in their dryness were flattened from the far hedgerow to the canopy of woodland leaves where I now stood drinking in the shade. I marvelled at my path, so ragged and bent, not at all the straight line I had imagined myself walking. The wild flowers were a cacophony of colour on the fading green; purple thistles, blue cornflowers, red poppies and tall asters with their yellow centres. There was no coordination like the displays in town, just a free-for-all choreographed by the wind.

I smiled as I spotted those flowers. The flowers lay scattered on the grass like frozen flames, bringing their cool blaze to the late spring morning.

I walked over and set Rem down, letting him wander however he pleased.

I bent down to grasp at one of the flowers when I out of my peripheral there was a flash of brown, not the mahogany of the trees, but a reddish russet, unnatural for trees. I looked up and froze.

No more than ten feet away from me was a ginormous wolf.

She is a brown-silver, fur glossy and thick. Her paws kiss the earth with a lightness and there is a serenity in her gaze. I stay still, for if I move she will take flight into the trees. I breathe slow and let time slow down, taking photographs with only my eyes. Perhaps tonight I will dream of being as free as she is, out here with nature.

In the half-light it could have been a dog, but dogs don't move the way wolves do - in choreographed motions, one family of canine "dancers" flowing over the earth. There's an intelligence in her eyes, a shyness, a wariness of humans. For a moment my spirit is with her, up there in the dawn-forest, drinking in pine aromas the same as we love fresh flowers.

A light shot through my mind. An image of this same wolf, yet with...others. emerging from the trees around me, snarling. The image was gone as soon as it came, what was it of?

My mind snapped back when the wolf moved, ever so slightly. It crouched down onto its stomach, laying its head on its paws. Its light brown eyes disappeared out of sight as its eyelids slid closed. For a moment, I was incredulous. Here I was on the verge of a panic attack, yet this creature was comfortable enough to let its guard down around me!

Was it trying to seem...nonthreatening?

I stayed, frozen in place. One of her eyes opened and the wolf moved slightly closer to me, I took a step back and the wolf froze. I saw an emotion too human for an animal, I saw fear and hope.

The intelligence in its eyes was infectious, I wanted to be a part of that knowledge. I wanted to understand what the wolf was afraid of what it wanted of me. I reached a shaky hand out and the wolf perked up instantly. It crawled over to me on its stomach.

It looked ridiculous, an animal as large as a motorcycle dragging itself across the forest floor. I attempted to smother my giggles with my hand, but the wolf's superior hearing caught it.

The wolf looked up at me, amusement and satisfaction evident in its eyes. I stuck my tongue out at the creature, and almost cried laughing when it returned to favor.

My unease suddenly gone, I gently placed my hand on the wolf head. Testing the waters. "Um hello, my names Calypso." I said nervously.

The encounter reminded me of my introduction to Rem only hours earlier.

I gently sat myself back down on the floor once it was clear that the wolf wasn't going to attack.

Rem hesitantly made his way over, circling largely around the wolf to get to me. After a couple of minutes, Rem seemed to settle down and tolerate the wolf's presence.

The silence was comfortable as the wolf slowly made its way next to me. I leaned against it slightly, enjoying the warmth it produced.

"Do you want to hear a story? A sad story?" I asked the russet wolf. It lingered in the air, thick and heavy, like a blanket. Wherever I moved, that silence followed, always watching never fading. My own, personal shadow. I didn't feel the need to fill it, but I wanted to share some of myself with this intelligent creature.

It picked its head up off the ground and nodded, it was such a human response that I was stunned into silence.

One of the wolf's eyes opened at my silence.

So I began.

I spoke of events as If I were there, and I spoke of memories as if I wasn't. _"I hate the moon,"_ I began solemnly. " _—I am afraid of it—for when it shines on certain scenes familiar and loved it sometimes makes them unfamiliar and hideous."_

I seemed to catch the wolf's attention, its eyes flicked up to mine and stayed there. It rested its giant head on its paws and gazed up at me.

 _"It was in the spectral summer when the moon shone down on the old garden where I wandered; the spectral summer of narcotic flowers and humid seas of foliage that bring wild and many-coloured dreams. And as I walked by the shallow crystal stream I saw unwonted ripples tipped with yellow light, as if those placid waters were drawn on in resistless currents to strange oceans that are not in the world. Silent and sparkling, bright and baleful, those moon-cursed waters hurried I knew not whither; whilst from the embowered banks white lotos blossoms fluttered one by one in the opiate night-wind and dropped despairingly into the stream, swirling away horribly under the arched, carven bridge, and staring back with the sinister resignation of calm, dead faces."_  
I pulled Remme into my arms for comfort as the images flashed through my mind. So vivid it felt like my own memory.

_"And as I ran along the shore, crushing sleeping flowers with heedless feet and maddened ever by the fear of unknown things and the lure of the dead faces, I saw that the garden had no end under that moon; for where by day the walls were, there stretched now only new vistas of trees and paths, flowers and shrubs, stone idols and pagodas, and bendings of the yellow-litten stream past grassy banks and under grotesque bridges of marble. And the lips of the dead lotos-faces whispered sadly, and bade me follow, nor did I cease my steps till the stream became a river, and joined amidst marshes of swaying reeds and beaches of gleaming sand the shore of a vast and nameless sea."_

I could see it now, my bare feet squishing into the sand. But the skin color was too dark to be my own, this was not my memory.

" _Upon that sea the hateful moon shone, and over its unvocal waves weird perfumes brooded. And as I saw therein the lotos-faces vanish, I longed for nets that I might capture them and learn from them the secrets which the moon had brought upon the night. But when the moon went over to the west and the still tide ebbed from the sullen shore, I saw in that light old spires that the waves almost uncovered, and white columns gay with festoons of green seaweed. And knowing that to this sunken place all the dead had come, I trembled and did not wish again to speak with the lotos-faces."_

The wolf's eyes slid shut but I knew it was still listening from the way its ears twitched every so often.

_"Yet when I saw afar out in the sea a black condor descend from the sky to seek rest on a vast reef, I would fain have questioned him, and asked him of those whom I had known when they were alive. This I would have asked him had he not been so far away, but he was very far, and could not be seen at all when he drew nigh that gigantic reef._   
_So I watched the tide go out under that sinking moon, and saw gleaming the spires, the towers, and the roofs of that dead, dripping city. And as I watched, my nostrils tried to close against the perfume-conquering stench of the world's dead; for truly, in this unplaced and forgotten spot had all the flesh of the churchyards gathered for puffy sea-worms to gnaw and glut upon."_

_"Over those horrors the evil moon now hung very low, but the puffy worms of the sea need no moon to feed by. And as I watched the ripples that told of the writhing of worms beneath, I felt a new chill from afar out whither the condor had flown, as if my flesh had caught a horror before my eyes had seen it._   
_Nor had my flesh trembling without cause, for when I raised my eyes I saw that the waters had ebbed very low, shewing much of the vast reef whose rim I had seen before. And when I saw that this reef was but the black basalt crown of a shocking eikon whose monstrous forehead now shone in the dim moonlight and whose vile hooves must paw the hellish ooze miles below, I shrieked and shrieked lest the hidden face rise above the waters, and lest the hidden eyes look at me after the slinking away of that leering and treacherous yellow moon._   
_And to escape this relentless thing I plunged gladly and unhesitatingly into the stinking shallows where amidst weedy walls and sunken streets fat sea-worms feast upon the world's dead."_

My head is pounding, every cell in my body is screaming for oxygen. I keep fighting until I feel like my head is about to explode, I have to take a breath. So I do. For some reason it doesn't hurt like I thought it would, I'm not scared anymore, it's almost peaceful actually. I begin to fall. I fall further and further into the darkness until it threatens to swallow me whole. Hands too dark to be my own scratch at my neck desperately. Whispers of black hair swim on the edge of my vision. What was this a memory of?

I sat back on my hands, staring at the sky. " _I'll let you take from it what you will."_

The yellow ball of fire changed to hues of orange, and then almost tangerine. It merged with the sky, like juice-mix dissolving in a glass of water. The clouds were cotton-candy, as though they blushed at the warm touch of the sun. Silhouettes of birds flew home across a sky that was now magenta; and the sun was half into the water, but its reflection in the sea made it look complete. The mauve of the dusky sky intensified, and in just a while, the biggest star had set, giving way to a thousand others.

"So?" I asked the wolf. "Are you frightened beyond belief?"

The wolf let out a snort and I huffed. "I'll have you know that was one of my best stories." I said indignantly.

The truth was, I had no idea where that story had come from. Those words, those memories did not belong to me. Yet I spoke of them as if they were my own. The wolf just snorted again and laid its head on my lap, I absently stroked its ears as I pondered.

Suddenly, a loud howl sounded through the forest from the south. My wolf's head shot up, ears alert for an unseen danger.

It got to its feet and glanced to the south back at me.

I saw conflicting in its eyes and my heart told me to soothe its worries. "Go," I said, stroking its head one more time. "Our paths will cross again."

The wolf pushed its head into my hand, inhaling deeply, before turning and bounding the direction the howl came from.

I watched it go with sad eyes as I settled back into my spot.

I glanced down at the peacefully sleeping Remme laying unaware in my arms.

"Wanna hear a story?" I whispered.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Leah's POV

I had phased again.

It had been over two weeks since I'd seen my imprint and their was still no sign of her.

The forest passed me in a giant hue of green. I have always loved the flowers and the birds, loved the sunlight and the clouds that drift by. I have always loved the way the leaves move in a breeze and that soft whispering sound they make, like nature loves to chatter too. Yet the tiredness that begun a while ago remains like a veil over my skin, grey and cold. And as I watch the petals and the twigs that sway in the wind, there is only a creeping sorrow where there should be joy. It sits like November rain on my fur, enough to chill what was once warm inside. Now I just let it come, drop by drop and I feel like it is an ocean falling upon me instead of rain - that the grief I carefully suspended has all condensed right above my head into a cloud large enough to block the sun.

Darker undertones were sensed as I ran.

Running taught me about life, that every little thing is broken down into one step at a time. That's as easy and as hard as every task is. If you look ahead at how far the run is, maybe you'll never begin. If you just start running there's a great chance you'll finish. So don't over think it, love, just run.

The forest around me was dying, I knew that-we knew that. What were we going to do if the forest completely died out?

'I guess I'd have another dilemma to deal with."

My self-pitiful thoughts were interrupted as I felt Sam phase somewhere, checking to make sure I was in control. After I made It clear I was level-headed, Sam mentally relaxed.

' _Don't be too long.'_ he said-thought.

 _'I won't, I just need to run for a bit.'_ I said. I could feel his pity rolling off of him in waves. I began to run slightly faster, as if I could outrun his emotions that he couldn't hide.

' _Leah_!' Embry said. ' _Where'd you run off to?'_

 _'I just needed some fresh air.'_ I replied, annoyed.

' _Need any company?_ '

' _Leave her be,_ ' Sam replied. ' _She needs some time alone'_

' _My brain is on five percent battery, so if you don't mind, I'm gonna take some time to rest and soak in the calm peace of nature.'_ This stuff, this _caring_ , is vast yet finite, freely given yet at a cost to me... and I'm tired... so very, very, tired.

Embry mentally recoiled at my depressive thoughts and surrendered. ' _Ok, just...be careful.'_

_'I will.'_

Running isn't as appealing as it used to be. When I ran before, I was a wild beast uncaged.

I was a force of nature. I was running towards something. But without her, I was running away now, away from my pack and my feelings. Away from myself.

As pathetic as it sounds, I felt lonely.

The thudding of my feet calmed to a stop as a scent hit my sensitive nose. I froze, it couldn't be. My mind was playing a cruel trick on me.

The scene of earth and flowers hit my nose, more sweet than the forests natural scent. It was familiar.

I bent my head to the ground and followed like a bloodhound. This trail was recent, only a couple of minutes. As I descended deeper within the forest, I could only help but gasp for fresh air I longed for above the trees. The air thick with moisture. Sweat lingering in the air. The oaks closing in. The darkness was overwhelming. It felt suffocating.

She was close by.

I ran again, tongue rolling out of my mouth in a puppyish display of happiness as I bounded up a hill. With every step I took, the pain in my chest lessened, my muscles loosened, my body felt lighter.

A flash of red caught my eye and my heart melted.

There she was, she was bent over a small group of flowers. I sat, eyes wide. I'd spent almost two weeks imagining what I'd do when I found her, yet here she was and I froze like a tool.

The woman that I saw could have graced any billboard or magazine cover, but she was better than those two dimensional photoshopped models. Somehow her imperfections made her perfect. There was a shyness to her, hesitation in her body movements and a softness in her voice. Her cream dress had a tailored look that was bold against her tan skin, but I could already see her in jeans and a t-shirt, feet up on the couch and painting her nails. She was right there, only feet away, but in her understated glamour she might as well be on the television or a girl in a pop video.

Her eyes trailed up to my poorly hidden form and she froze. Her eyes were just as beautiful as I'd remembered. Her eyes were green but not the kind of shade that's easy to describe. It was almost like they were both green and yellow at the same time, with blue creeping in around the edges as if it were trying to take over. She blinked and the beauty was momentarily covered by the shield of her red eyelashes; naturally long and soft looking - feminine. By the time the girls eyes opened again, I had still not recovered from her intense stare.

I took an instinctive small step forward and she stumbled back.

Panic flared inside me as she moved away but I calmed when she froze again. We stayed like that, a silent stare down as we watched what the other would do. I lowered myself to the ground on my belly, eyeing her.

When she made no move I began to crawl forward.

A hand flew up to cover her mouth in an attempt to smother her giggles. Her giggle softened the mood, as if her gentle sound could make the trees greener and the sun burn warmer. Satisfaction and happiness flowed through me, completely washing away all my embarrassment of doing something so ridiculous. She stuck her tongue out at me and I returned it.

She laughed heartily at my show and shook her head. She gently settled herself back down on the forest floor, getting comfortable.

She reached a hand out to me and I pressed my head against it. "Um hello, my names Calypso." she said nervously.

It was a beautiful name.

Now that I was closer, I poked my head into her arm lightly where her previous wound had been, but she was completely healed. Not a scratch on her, I was relieved and worried. She didn't smell like vampire, but no human would have healed that fast. My racing mind was calmed as she began to pet my ears. I would let myself worry later, all that mattered now was that we were together.

I watched a brown rabbit circle around me and climb on Calypso's lap. She smiled and circled an arm around it, looking content.

We sat for a moment like that, both of us perfectly content in the moment. I knew I should change back. That I should show her who I really was, but… I just wanted to enjoy it for a little bit. The sun was so warm, the trees around us seemed greener, more alive, and I had my imprint.

"Would you like to hear a story? A sad story?" she asked me suddenly breaking the silence.

I nodded my head.

And she began.

She began to speak like an experienced storyteller. My mind slipped in and out of focus on the story as I was content just to watch her. Simply enjoying her presence.

Her lilting voice had me entranced, I settled down on the forest floor and laid my head in her lap. She absently stroked my ears and I felt more at peace then I even have in my life.

The story had me envisioning a sad scene. Of a terrified girl running from herself.

At particularly troubling parts, her hand would stop and I'd let out a soft whine. She would pick up again, her story never faltering for a moment.

I watched her as she looked off into the distance, and I knew I had fallen. I loved her like she was the last of my kind. It is as if when she spoke, it was the same language as I, yet no other is able. To be around her was like finally not being alone - as if all my life I've been isolated, in a windowless room, in a doorless room... and then suddenly she walked in as if strolling over a summer meadow. How is that she is so much more than sunshine? So, my love, know this - while I breathe I am hers in mind, body and soul.

I'll let you take from it what you will." she finished, sitting back on her hands as she stared at the sun in the distance.

"Well?" she asked me. "Are you frightened beyond belief?"

I let out a snort before I could stop myself and she pouted.

"I'll have you know that was one of my best stories!" she exclaimed.

I needed to change back. To show her that I was more than just a wolf. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and stay in this quiet field forever, just the two of us where we would never be bothered. Where no one would be able to bring us apart.

Suddenly, a howl in the distance sounded.

It was Embry. It was clear a clear warning: Danger. My ears rang at the sound, shaking me to my bones.

I instinctively got to my feet and turned towards the sound, when I froze. I turned to look back at my imprint, a sad look had overcome her face as she saw my panic. Her bright red hair framed her face, glowing brighter as the light hit it just so. She looked ethereal, like a forest spirit within her element.

"Go " she whispered. "Our paths will cross again."

I pressed my head into her hand for one last moment, just enjoying what time I had with her. I breathed in deeply as her natural, wild scent reached me yet again.

' _Leah_!' Paul screamed through the pack bond. ' _We need you!'_

I forced myself to turn away from her, and bolted into the trees.

The pain in my chest returned.


	5. Hiraeth

Hir•aeth

Noun

/kä(l)m/

1\. A longing for a home you can't return to, or one that was never yours.

* * *

As the allotted time draws near the steady heat becomes far less bearable. I want the air conditioning of the mall, not the filthy downtown sidewalk. I can't sit on the burning tarmac so the best I can do is prop myself up against Bella's car letting my eyes move over the scars in the paintwork. I run my hand over the rough paint. I can feel my bangs stick to the perspiration on my face, I must be as beaded as the dawn grass. My hand begins to shake in a way I can't control, all I can do is loop my thumbs into my jean shorts pocket and hope to look casual.

I leaned back on Bella's car and sighed. She was still inside looking through the student files trying to find someone anyone who could recognize me.

We had dedicated the week to checking out the schools in the area for student records, yet I appeared to be as elusive in life as in death. The school was on the La Push reservation, I had attempted to convince Bella that It was likely I hadn't gone here, as even Bella appeared more native american then me. But she had declared that checking couldn't hurt.

I would have been touched at her dedication to find pieces of my past if it hadn't been clear that she was distracting herself from her ex.

My thought broke off as I saw a girl walking out of the school, her clothes were a little bit too showy for the occasion. Her light hair was obviously bleached as it was lighter than her skin tone, but she was undeniably pretty.

I spent a couple moment debating talking to her. Hoping she would recognize me, when I decided that I wasn't going to get anywhere playing a pacifist.

"Hello." I called to her as she passed me by. She stopped and looked at me as in confusion, obviously wondering why I was talking to her.

"I just wanted to say that your outfit looks good, I could never have the confidence to pull it off." It seemed like a simple enough way to get her to notice me, after all.

I saw a flash of something light up her eyes and she walked over to me happily. "Oh my gosh, thank you!" she exclaimed. "People keep saying I look slutty."

I smiled at her widely, I liked her. "I don't see any reason why it's their concern."

"I know right?" she exclaimed. "And you're really pretty too! You're hair is _so_ red, we don't see a lot of people like you around her with all of us being Quileute and all." she said in one breath.

I felt a stab of disappointment, as that meant she hadn't seen me around before.

She frowned for a moment. "You could use some mascara though."

While I was debating whether or not to be offended, she pulled a makeup bag out of her purse and turned to me. "Here," she said. "Open your eyes wide."

I hesitated for a moment before doing as instructed and she began carefully applying mascara. "open your mouth like this." she said, demonstrating. She looked slightly like a fish but I did as asked.

The moment seemed strangely intimate, as her face was very close to mine. I also had absolutely no idea what mascara was and if I should be letting her apply it on me, but I complied and stayed put even as my eyes began to water awkwardly.

She finished and pulled back and began to wave her hands at my face to try to dry the black goop on my eyelashes.

She studied me for a moment, sticking her tongue out of her mouth as she observed my appearance.

"Wow!" she said. "You look like some sort of pagan goddess."

I opened my mouth to respond when I heard someone cough gently from behind my new friend.

The girl turned around Bella was standing behind her, arms folded.

"Oh," my new friend said. "Its you."

"Yeah." Bella said. "Can you get away from my car?"

"Whatever." the girl said, rolling her eyes.

She turned back to me and smiled again, holding her hand out. "My names Jessica by the way. It was great meeting you!" she exclaimed.

I smiled and placed my hand in hers. "Calypso."

She giggled and placed a hand over her mouth. "Catcha' later." she replied and sauntered off.

Bella looked at me with something akin to disgust. "You really shouldn't associate with girls like her."

"Why?" I asked and she sighed.

"They're toxic, mean, cold hearted. Whatever works."

I frowned at Bella, I had never pinned her as someone so narrow minded. "No they're not, Bella." I said softly.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

The silence was comforting but unwelcome as Bella and I drove.

I looked out the window as the rain dripped from the pane, I sighed in annoyance. The weather meant I couldn't go see my wolf today.

Every since our first meeting in the clearing, I had gone back every so often to see the wolf. He had helped me find various herbs in the vast forest just yesterday. While we had traveled, I had spoken to him about anything and everything in equal parts. My life, my dreams, stories both belonging to me and...not.

I sighed and sat back in the passenger seat. I had been getting...flashbacks. flashbacks to things that couldn't have happened, at least not to me.

Drowning, burning, poisoning, starvation, martyrdom, asphyxiation, homicide, suicide, you name it, and I saw it while driving down a sunny road in a rape van.

I told the wolf about these things. There was something comforting in the fact that I knew the wolf couldn't tell anyone else, that he would forever have to bear my secrets with no choice in the matter. Perhaps it was selfish of me, but I appreciated the wolf's inability to speak. As it was only when it was silent that people could hear my voice, it seemed.

I had a feeling, deep down. That even if the wolf could talk, he would still listen.

I hardly even noticed when we pulled up in front of Bella's house until the soft rumbling of the car silenced. I carefully climbed out of her car and sauntered over to my van.

"Wanna go on a hike or something?" Bella asked from behind me.

I smiled widely and nodded. "Climb in." I said to her, gesturing to the passenger seat of my car.

She crossed her arms and looked at me with something akin to annoyance and fear.

"Oh no, I'm not getting in a car with you driving."

She said.

"Why not?"

"Because you asked me if it was legal to try to beat the train over the tracks!"

It had seemed an innocent enough of a question at the time. They had pulled the stop on the tracks while the actual train had been a mile away, we had sat there waiting for the damn thing to mosey on by, completely ridiculous.

"Oh." I said unintelligibly.

"Oh is right, I'll follow behind you." she said in obvious amusement.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Gazing straight ahead, only half-aware of a world outside the claustrophobic comfort of the car, Of my hands stroking the wheel, the almost soundless changing of the gears, the pattern of traffic lights…

I peeked into my rearview mirror and smiled at Bella's car as it struggled to keep up with my van.

Driving had been one of my first skills to come naturally. Bella had said that it was pretty difficult to forget how to drive, similar to riding a bike. It had yet to be seen it I could ride a bike, however.

Not finger curled over the wheel again in unease. My nerves were shot and my muscles were tensing more and more the further I drove.

I glanced around myself again as the spark plugs in my stomach seemed to intense indifferently.

The road was quiet, peaceful. I suppose that should have been the first warning that something was...not quite right.

To my horror, car came out of nowhere. Clearly ignoring the obvious stop sign position to my right. The driver ran right through, both of us going much too fast to stop once we saw each other.

His running of the light caused me to unwillingly t-bone my car into his.

My van might have been physically larger than the other drivers vehicle, but Todo was old. As soon as her bumper made contact with the other cars back seat door, she crumpled like a tin can beneath a weight lifters foot.

My car crumpled inwards like a slinky, and I almost expected for it to snap back into place with a ferocity that would cause me to go flying, but no such luck.

Unsurprisingly, my airbags hadn't gone off and I was left wedged between the wheel and the seat, my panic rose in waves.

Stone, all around me. Nothing but an inch of air. Dark. So dark I couldn't see. My nose touching the limit of ny world. The sounds of my own screams causing my ears to bleed, the sound itself incapable of escaping it. Unable to move, to breath, or talk. Forced to lay till my muscles stiffened and my bones calcified into that rigid stance. Eternity, pressed inside the earth and forgotten about. Crying out to a deaf, distant, uncaring world. I'd cried for a lifetime.

The car door was wrenched open violently. Warm hands grabbed at my arm and I lost it.

I bit down on the arm that was holding me, but they just grunted and yanked me out of the car. My feet gave way beneath me and I fell to my knees.

I grasped desperately at my chest, I couldn't get enough oxygen. My claustrophobia is more about light than space. I can tolerate the smaller space if there is enough natural daylight, enough exits to free flowing air. Perhaps it is an extension of my fear of the dark, my yearning for eternal summer. But when I walk in the light, when I feel the perfumed air or feel refreshing rain, I feel so grounded, so right, so at home in the world.

I heard the sound of car doors slamming and people running. Someone I didn't recognize knelt down next to me. A hand on my shoulder felt like I'd been burned, I flinched away.

"Oh my God, Calypso. Listen to me. You're having a panic attack, calm down." the voice sounded like Bella, but I couldn't seem to see past my shaking hands.

Bella is still talking and i'm no longer listening at all, not because I don't want to so much as my brain has decided there are more important things to pay attention to, like my heart still jack-rabbiting in my chest and the blood pounding in my ears

"Holy shit, I didn't see you, oh my God." a deeper voice exclaimed, panic and worry evident in their tone.

"Hey, uh. Are you…okay?" the deeper voice asks, out of my peripheral reached out a hand as if to touch me on the shoulder and I scream, a bestial, wordless thing, and propel myself backward against the crumpled metal of my car with enough force to make the metal dent behind me a bit.

"Don't," I say, breathless and ragged. "Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't…" I forget and all there is, is breath and blood, and the world is too small and it feels like dying even though I know it's not, knows I just needs to breathe, it's okay, it'll be over soon, just breathe, just breathe…

I don't know how much time passes. Probably just a few minutes. It's hard to tell.

More minutes pass. I'm still breathing deep, in through my nose, out through my mouth. My head's a little fuzzy but my chest doesn't hurt anymore.

I glanced up and I finally looked up at the guy and froze. He was easily 6'5, tan skin, practically all muscle. Normally I would avoid confrontation at all costs, especially with someone who looked like they could crush me with no effort. But my post-panic attack brain saw an escape-goat on a road of anger.

I climbed to my feet shakily, hands trembling.

I forced all my panic to transfer to rage, rage was a much more productive emotion. "Look what you did to my van!" I screamed, horrified.

The man looked horrified as he held his hands out in front of him to look non threatening. I noticed with seething hate that his car looked mostly intact. My car had left an obvious dent in it, but I was nothing compared to the pile of scraps I called my home.

"Hey! It's okay! I'm a mechanic! I can fix it for you, no charge!" he looked desperate.

"Really?"

"Yeah," he said with a soft smile, handing me a card. "Here's the place, just call and tell them everything's on Quil, okay?"

I nodded my head, wiping at my eyes.

"Okay."

There was a moment of silence as I looked the man over, trying to find any noticeable injuries. I let out a sigh of relief as I found nothing and immediately got upset with myself, he had wrecked my car.

"Should we call an ambulance? You're shaking pretty badly." Quil said, unknowing that my shaking was caused my anger at this point.

"Its okay," I gasped. "I'm just- I get- I'm claustrophobic."

Quil looked at my car, seeming to realise the position had put me in, and winced. "Look I'm really sorry, in fact I'll call my guys to come get your car now, okay?"

I nodded my head shakily as Bella grasped my hand tight. I felt like crying and throwing punches. I had a feeling Belle was holding my hands cause she knew I would have tried to bare knuckle fist-fight this guy if she hadn't.

Quil whipped out a phone and wandered away from us, speaking in a quiet but urgent tone.

Bella sat down on the blacktop in front of me, both of us just sitting in the middle of the road. I ignored the way it burned the back of my thighs. No cars had passed by the wreckage, I suppose there were some advantages to living in such a small town.

"Are you okay Calypso?" she asked, voice soft.

"Yeah," I replied, unconvincing. "I'm fine."

"Bs," she whispered back. "That was a full blown panic attack, I've only ever seen one of those once-my mother-" her voice broke and I placed a hand on her shoulder.

We sat in silence until our peace was interrupted by the sound of shoes hitting the pavement. I looked up and up and up until I met Quil's eyes.

"I have some people sending some stuff over to tow your car." he said, nervously rubbing the back of his head. "Look- I uh, I really appreciate you not getting the police involved. Sam would have never forgiven me if this turned legal."

I briefly wondered if Sam was his father, perhaps they weren't on great terms if he called him by his first name. "I'm just glad all the damage was superficial." he said with obvious relief. "Nothing that can't be fixed with some spare parts."

I nodded my head but froze mid motion. "Oh my God." I whispered in horror.

I dashed to my feet instantly, nearly tripping over myself in my haste to get back to my car.

I tried to yank on the back door but it wouldn't open, the metal having practically been fused together in the crash. I yanked harder.

"What's the matter?!" Quil said. Clearly blind with panic.

I didn't a stop yanking on the door as I replied frantically. "Its Remme- He's- He's still back there!"

Quil gently pushed me aside and grabbed onto the handle. In a Brutish displace if strength, he yanked the handle so savagely the door flew off. I didn't waste a second on marveling on his display of strength, instead I threw myself into the back of the van.

"Remme?- Remme?!" I yelled in panic.

Slowly, my panic ebbed away as a soft brown rabbit slowly made its way from behind my plant rack. I grabbed him into my arms and held him close, relief washing over me in overwhelming waves.

My eyes made contact with the plant rack and I stifled a sob.

One of the plants had been severed with the glass from the broken window. Glass, I realised, I was currently kneeling on. I felt pricks on my calves as the glass bit into me but I couldn't find it in myself to care. I grasped desperately at the plant and brought them to my chest, cradling them.

"Is she okay?" I heard Quil whisper to Bella from behind me.

"The plants," Bella said slowly. "They-they mean a lot to her."

His reply was silence, I couldn't tell if it was understanding, guilt, confusion or judgment. But I didn't care. He didn't have the right to judge me. Especially after hitting me with his car.

' _Well_ ,' I thought in a haze. ' _Technical I hit him.'_

I was startled by the sound of a car pulling up next to my van, I briefly wondered if it was someone stopping out of concern but one look at Quil and I knew it was his buddies.

Quil ran off out of sight and Bella glared at his back as he left. She turned to me and offered a hand. "Hey," she said softly. "They can't tow the van with you in it, silly."

I choked out a laugh and placed my injured plant in her awaiting hands. I held Remme close to my chest as I slid out of the car.

One look at my shin and i knew I'd screwed up. The skin was broken, little pieces of glass were embedded deep into my tan skin and blood was seeping out of the wound.

"Dude, Quil, what the hell did you do?" a voice I didn't recognize exclaimed from out of my view.

"I swear! Her car came outta nowhere!"

I growled lowely in my throat at that, but didn't say anything otherwise.

Bella took handed me my plant back in a sign of comfort and she grabbed my elbow, leading me around the corner to face the owner of the new voice.

I was hit with an extreme case of deja vu as I saw the woman Quil was speaking to.

The woman has a body so defined that I could see all her taut muscles cutting through the thin fabric of her worn black t-shirt, high cheekbones, a sharp aquiline nose, wild black hair and black eyes that seem fixed on me. Those eyes are a cosmic sort of black, and she's looking at me in a way that makes my breath stutter and catch in the back of my throat. It's almost predatory, but not quite.

Something flashed beneath the surface of her hardened expression and I hurried to investigate the sudden shift. It was too late, the emotion disappeared before I could identify it, like reaching desperately for an escaped balloon; the string dangling so tantalizingly close but the wind pushed it away and it's lost forever.

"Leah?" Quil said. His eyes trailing over to me before realization lit up his face. I wondered what revelation he had come to. His realization quickly turned to fear as he edged ways from his friend. I watched the exchange curiously.

Her eyes trail down my legs, the blood still flowing freely from them and she walks over with purpose in her steps.

 _'Oh god_ ,' was the only thing I could think. ' _I'm about to get curb stomped'_

It wasn't until she was directly in front of me that I realised just how tall she was. Not quit as tall as her friend, but still at least a head taller than me.

And in that moment, I completely realised how much I didn't want to be here. My car was ruined, my plant was going to die. I wasn't sure where I was and where I was supposed to be, I wasn't even sure if Calypso is my name and I was about to get curb stomped by the not-so-green green giant.

"If your gonna start swinging, I promise I hit harder than I look!" I said as she paused. I had heard that in a movie somewhere.

Her eyes widened in surprise and Quil began to cackle behind her.

"What-no I'm not going to start… swinging?"

I eyed her warily but nodded. "That's good. For you, I mean." I replied seriously. I saw Bella facepalm in my peripheral.

The way she was looking at me was like how a man would look at an oasis after crawling through the desert. Adoration was clear in her eyes and I felt confusion, that couldn't possibly be aimed at me.

She gently gripped my elbow and helped me to my feet. "C'mon," She said. "Quil can clean this mess up himself, I'll drive you to the workshop."

Quil let out a noise I could only describe as a wounded animal at Leah's statement.

I frowned at her telling me what to do but I got interrupted as I opened my mouth to object.

"Hold on a minute, Calypso's riding with me." Bella said loudly. Leah turned a glare on her so quickly I got whiplash.

"Now's not the time for this, she's clearly injured and exhausted."

They continued to glare at each other and I sighed in annoyance. Nothing to worry about, I was just bleeding to death, don't mind me.

I looked at Bella with a sigh. "Look I'll ride with schwarzenegger here so we don't get blood on your carpet, and I know you have stuff in the front seat. I promise to jump out the window if I get uncomfortable, ok?"

Bella pressed her lips into a fine line but nodded her head. "Fine, but I'm following right behind you."

She then turned to me, her expression softening considerably. "I can take Remme if you want Calypso."

I smiled gratefully and handed him over wordlessly.

Leah nodded and turned around, making her way to Quils car and leaving Quil the one she'd brought. I began to follow after her when pain shot up my leg. I hissed and Leah was next to me in a instant. "What's wrong, are you okay?" She asked.

"Sorry," I said, wincing. "It's just, my leg."

Her eyes softened as she offered her arm to me.

"Don't apologise I should have- here."

I gripped onto her impossibly warm arm and grimaced at my need for assistance, but I reluctantly stayed quiet. Despite myself, I latched onto her arm, surprised at the elevated temperature. "Why are you so warm?" I whispered. I felt like a kid, sharing secrets in a playground.

"Magic." she whispered. I snorted and shook my head, ignoring the blissfully proud look she had taken on at my laughing.

I waved Leah off as she attempted to help me into the car.

We sat in silence as she pulled the car off the side of the road. I watched the affronted form of Quil get smaller and smaller in the rear view mirror.

I stretched my legs out in front of me as I noticed to distance between the seat and the dashboard. I looked over at her, the car was huge but it looked about average compared to her. I felt like I had been dropped in a world where everything was just slightly larger to throw me off. It probably didn't help that I was below average size, I thought uncomfortably.

"I'm Calypso." I said suddenly, not liking the uncomfortable silence that seemed to plague me today. "Leah," she replied. "I'd shake your hand but…" she trailed off.

"No thanks," I said with a snort. "I've already been in a crash today, thanks."

Out conversation trailed off into silence, while it was significantly less awkward then before. The tension in the air seemed brittle enough to snap.

"Does it have a name?" she said suddenly. I startled as our silence was broken. For one of affronted minute, I thought she had meant Bella.

She nodded briefly at my plant and I understood.

"Oh! I call him red." I said simply.

"Tell me about red, then." And I instantly went off.

"Red's a Cape sundew, a carnivorous plant, they're considered an invasive species in some places but I still think they're beautiful. Their known as the 'unkillable sundew' so he'll bounce back from this, I just wish it hadn't happened in the first place."

The veins in her arm protruded as she gripped the steering wheel. "I wish it hadn't happened either."

We sat in silence for a moment before and before I could stop myself, I asked her one simple question.

"Wanna hear a story?"


	6. Nemoricultrix

Nemoricultrix

/kä(l)m/

adjectadje

1\. She who dwells in the woods.

* * *

 

Silence gnawed at my insides. Silence hung in the air like the suspended moment before a falling glass shatters on the ground. The silence was like a gaping void, needing to be filled with sounds, words, anything. The silence was poisonous in it's nothingness, cruelly underscoring how vapid their conversation had become.

I chewed my lip and glanced at Leah out of the corner of my eye. She was staring straight ahead, smiling slightly, like she was enjoying simply being in my presence. While blissfully ignored the awkwardness that had been bothering me ever since I had finished the story.

It had been about a fox and a dog, who tried to be friends but society's boundaries eventually pushed them apart cruelly. She had casually informed me it was a Disney movie called fox and the hound. I asked her what Disney was, she had casually explained and then we'd broken off into an awkward silence that was entirely one-sided.

I fiddled with Reds pot as we drove, only stopping when the gently hum of the car broken off, leaving us at our destination.

The houses bricks were laid one at a time, perhaps on a fine spring day. I let my eyes wander the roughness and how each is so very straight. This house was made with love, that's for sure. I smiled, it looked homey.

"Sorry." she said with a wince. "This is as close as we can get to the house, Sam has too much shit in his driveway for us to park."

We weren't  _that_ far from the house. But the distance seemed daunting with my ever-throbbing leg.

"I thought you were taking me to the shop?" I asked Leah quietly.

Her hands tighten around the wheel and I can't help but follow the movement with my eyes. She was in very good shape. She wasn't bulky. She was actually very lean, and tall. but she was obviously strong. Not that I'm gay or anything, cant a girl just appreciate another girls muscles?

I glance back up into her eyes and find her smirking at me, having noticed my appreciative gaze.

I quickly set myself forward with a furious blush, mortified at being caught.

Facepalm, thy name is Calypso.

She rubbed the back of her neck for a second, sheepish. "Quil's gonna take care of your car at the shop but it's gonna take a while, no point in making you wait at that dump. This is Emily's and Sam's house. Emily will have some stuff for your legs." She said quickly.

I hummed and nodded my head before climbing out if the car. In the blink of an eye, Leah was in front of me again, offering her arm. I didn't hesitate before latching onto her this time.

I looked at the distant treeline wistfully. In the forest I am with my tribe of wood and leaf, among the giants who's roots hug the earth. It is a place of ancient souls, of the creatures who dwell with the sweet sounds of moving water and bird song. Somehow it is more home than home, perhaps one day I'll learn why.

I had the overwhelming urge to just throw myself at the treeline like a lunatic. But I refrained.

We walked slowly, at a pace that felt deliberate on my companions part. I felt at home in our newfound silence but was startled as she leant over to me, I felt nervous like spark plugs in my gut but all worry vanished as she spoke.

"So, what's a pretty thing like you doin' round here?"

I had known this woman for a short time but I felt like I'd known her for years. As if this was a bit we had been playing for longer than time itself, it was...refreshing.

And embarrassing, definitely embarrassing.

I snorted and shook my head. "I should be asking you that." I said.

"What's a pretty thing like me doin' round here?" she asked and I sputtered. "Well for starters, I live here-"

"No! I meant what am I doing here because you brought me her so why- and-" I cut myself off to save myself from too much embarrassment just as she began to laugh.

"Don't be too embarrassed, " she says, nudging me with her shoulder lightly. "Its cute."

I gulp and blush from my ears to the tops of my breasts. "Please stop flirting with me," I mumble. "I'm too awkward. I can't take it."

She opens her mouth to say something sly but I cut her off before she gets the chance. "And wait," I said. "You live here? I thought you said this was Emily and Sam's house?"

She scrunched up her nose momentarily before responding. "Yeah, its...temporary. Emily's my cousin so she lets me stay with them while I figure stuff out." She said, rubbing her neck with her unoccupied arm. "Not that I can't support myself or anything." She said quickly and I watched her out of the corner of my eye. "Or someone else, for that matter. I'm ready to work hard to support myself and my spouse, not that I have one! I am totally and completely single!" She rambled on.

I felt like I was interviewing her for an episode of Lesbian Bachelor.

I wanted to say something along the lines of: don't worry, I'm homeless too! But technically she's not homeless and unfortunate living arrangements doesn't seem like something I should try to bond over.

"Cool." was all I said instead, which was somehow almost worse.

Mercifully, she only laughed again and we're left in a much more comfortable silence as we walked peacefully.

We got halfway to the house before Bella ran up to my left, having been left in the dust by Quil's superior car. She said nothing as we walked to the house, seeming uncomfortable in our easy environment.

Leah faced forward again, scrunching up her nose in thought. It was cute.

While she was distracted I took a moment to focus on her eyes, which were darting back and fourth, shining in the sunlight. They were a deep, earthy brown - the color of the earth after torrential rains. But there was something else in them, something glistening. They held secrets, the same way a pot holds layers of deep soil- cradling- because it is essential to keep the plant safe. The roots are held in place the same way hee dark, liquidy eyes held so tightly onto her secrets.

She seemed to notice me staring and smiled down at me. I made myself face forward again. It made it all the more degrading that I was hanging off her arm like some sort of child.

Through some small mercy, we made it to the house without any further incident. Leah gently pushed open a bug screen door and entered the house with me and Bella following behind.

The first thing I noticed about the house was the smell, it smelled heavenly in there. The scent of fresh brownies wafting in the air made my mouth water. It didn't trigger any specific memories, but a blanket of comfort settled over me as I breathed in deeply.

Leah chuckled as she noticed my expression and led me over to a hallway.

The house had a cute, cozy feel to it. The walls were all painted warm colors that made me feel all fuzzy and warm. There were various stains in strange places such as: beneath the table, the small TV and, by some freak of nature; the ceiling. I tilted my head back to stare at the purple stain and Leah visibly flinched.

"Those damn children." she muttered, hurrying me past the room.

"You didn't say Emily had kids." I said, curious.

Leah sighed heavily. "She doesn't," she paused for a moment. "Well on second thought, yes, yes she does. Six, to be exact."

I stared at her questioning, but ultimately decided not to question it.

Leah gently pushed one of the swinging doors open to reveal a kitchen in varying states of disarray. A woman was bustling alone, doing approximately six jobs all by herself in a whirlwind of moment. We watched her for a second, marveling at her efficiency before Leah cleared her throat loudly.

The woman jumped and turned to us, revealing what had previously been hidden. Long scratches trailed down the right side of her face. The way her bangs had been skillfully layered to hide the scars spoke volumes about how she felt about them. I was sure that without the scars, she would be a beyond beautiful woman. Remembering that I would have to introduce myself, I mentally kicked myself for staring longer than necessary and smiled sweetly.

"Emily, this is Bella and Calypso, my...friends."

Her eyes darted back and forth between me, Bella, and Leah for a moment before lighting up with recognition.

She hastily wiped her hands on her apron and dashed over to us. Grabbing my hand and shaking it violently. "Oh it's great to meet you!" she said. "I'm Emily, I do all the cooking for Sam's little gang." she quickly offered her hand to Bella with less enthusiasm.

"Speaking of cooking…" Leah said, trailing off as I looked around.

Emily rolled her eyes. "The brownies are on the table. Don't eat all of them!" she yelled as I was dragged out of the kitchen by an overeager Leah.

I was forcibly sat down in a wooden chair, Bella soon following.

"Let me go get the first aid kit." Leah said seriously.

Me and Bella looked at each other and shrugged as Leah wandered off, before helping ourselves to the brownies.

The inside of the brownies was warm and gooey. Me and Bella shared a look as soon as we took a bite, silent understanding of pure bliss.

Bella seemed to relax finally, and I wished I could join her. But I could feel the fear in my chest waiting to take over. Perhaps it only wants to protect me but there really isn't any danger. It sits there like an angry ball propelling me towards an anxiety I just don't need.

The air is sweet, the weather is fine, there are birds in the sky and I can hear water not far away. But the anxiety sat in my stomach, foreboding. I'm not sure what for - but I force my body to begin to relax.

A noise from outside nearly causes me to jump out of my skin. It sounded like glass breaking, before being followed up by heavy cursing.

Curiously, I stood up and made my way out the back door, only to nearly faint at the sight. A bunch of ripped shirtless men were wandering around the backyard. Two of which were currently arm wrestling while others circled around them and cheered them on.

I felt Bella behind me and I leaned back slightly to whisper to her. "oh," I said as I counted out four men who looked  _a lot_ like Quil. " _That's_ what she meant by kids."

Bella just grunted in response.

My eyes trailed down to one of which who was currently mourning over a broken flower pot, but it wasn't until I noticed a small plant lying in the remains of the pot that I sprung into action.

"Hey!" I barked at the man as he attempted to grab it by its roots, inevitably making it worse. All of the men jumped slightly at my voice and turned to me, dumbstruck.

I looked like a complete fright, I was sure. Blood running down my legs, pieces of glass still embedded in my calves, bright red hair sticking out at all angles. I probably looked like a missing Weasley after the battle of Hogwarts.

' _What's a Hogwarts?'_  I asked my subconscious, to no reply.

I ignored all of their gazes as I stormed over to the one with the flower pot and promptly shoved him over.

He sputtered incoherently as I knelt down where he'd previously been. The pots had the curves of a river sculpted rock, one made by the patience of water, that with no concept of time. The blooms within give that same feeling, of petals shaped and coloured as they co-evolved with other life, each with their own story of how they came to be a part of our creator's world.

One had obviously been knocked over by the idipt next to me, I carefully babied the small plant away from the shards. I stood up and wandered over to a small garden and gently began digging in an empty space, praying that there wasn't seedlings there.

I put the small plant inside and patted the dirt around it carefully. After I finished, I stood up and wiped my hand on my shirt, unconcerned about getting dirty.

It wasn't until I turned around that I realised I had an audience.

All of the shirtless men were currently gaping at me, including the one I had shoved over who was currently still on the floor.

"Are you...Calypso?" one of them asked finally. I looked at him carefully before slowly nodding my head.

"Oh man! Go Leah!" another one yelled, high fiving the first one.

"What?" I asked, to no reply. I was getting used to being ignored.

One of the taller ones suddenly scrunched up his nose in disgust. "What's that smell?" He said. He turned suddenly and spotted Bella hanging around the side of the house and groaned. "What's the leach lover doing here."

The environment instantly somberd as the other men noticed Bella. She wrapped her arms around her torso defensively and it instantly put me on edge.

I sidled closer to Bella, not liking the way he was looking at her. I gently grabbed her elbow in what I hoped was comforting friendly contact and not 'what the fuck do they mean.' contact.

Bella curled her hands into fists but didn't respond. Her eyes were downcast and I decided I had seen enough.

"Maybe we should go." I said gently to her. I tried tugging gently on her arm, but she didn't budge.

The one who had spoken bared his teeth. It was an ugly look, cruel. I instantly knew what would be said before he even opened his mouth. "What? Nothing to say? Did you finally realise what you were worth to them when they took off? Sam warned you this would happen, but you didn't listen. And now you came running back."

They? Did he mean Edward, her Ex? Bella had been sobbing in a Cafe with me only a week before, and this guy had the nerve to make fun of her for something like that? What kind of horrible person would do that?

"C'mon Paul," One of the others said, grabbing his arm. "Let it go."

"Yeah," I yelled, putting myself between them. "C'mon Paul."

Bella looked away, tears in her eyes. I took a couple steps forward in warning, but no one was paying any attention to me.

There was a moment of silence as no one spoke. Paul was watching Bella with a scrutinizing gaze. Paul suddenly snorted in disbelief. "If you had just listened-"

Suddenly, Bella reared up like a cobra ready to strike. I stared in horror as Bella dashed around me and slapped him across the face.

The slap was as loud as a clap and stung my face just watching it. It had been an open-handed smack and it had left a red welt behind. Just below Paul's eye was a small cut where Bella's ring had caught him. Paul staggered backwards more out of surprise then anything, clutching his face.

"You don't know anything!" Bella screamed directly at him, the height difference making the whole scenario even more bizarre.

I watched in fascinated horror as the cut on his cheek began to heal before my very eyes. The skin closing around the wound slowly, leaving no mark or sign it had ever been there at all. His head turned to stare at Bella and I saw something horrible in his eyes.

The rest of the men launched themselves forward, but not at Bella. At Paul.

Two grabbed his arms and began dragging him backwards, while one attempted to get himself between Bella and him. They began talking to him in hushed whispers while dragging him backwards. Away from Bella and I while Paul began to shake, practically vibrating in place.

I opened my eyes wide.

In a moment of horror, he exploded.

Where Paul once was, was now a wolf. Snarling as he launched himself at Bella.

In that instance, time seemed to slow down. I watched in morbid fascination as he seemed to freeze in mid air, no one moved. The way the wolf's muscles rippled, the way it bared its teeth.

I launched myself in front of Bella in hopes of offering some protection

Fear is a funny thing. It can motivate us to do things unknown by mankind. Stories of mothers being able to lift cars when loved ones are stuck beneath it, people being able to run at impossible speed when being chased, pain response shutting off completely in moment of adrenaline. I had thought that fear was a force of nature, that we had no control over how or when we felt it. Yet somehow I didn't feel fear as I looked at the wolf. I felt excitement.

"Paul!" a voice screamed from behind me as the silver wolf leapt. I didn't focus on the voice, I didn't focus on the wolf. I focused on my trembling hands, I focused on my beating heart. I focused on the slithery voice telling me in the back of my mind that I could kill should I want to.

Asking me if I wanted to.

the sound of feet hitting the earth drew my attention. My head snapped over to Leah just as she exploded into a wolf.

My wolf.

Sleek brown fur that shone in the sun. Its eyes were yellow, intelligent. Not the same intelligence I had originally assumed belonged to apex predator, but human. It was a wolf's body with a human brain. A time bomb.

Even as the wolf propelled itself towards me, I couldn't bring myself to raise a finger in harm towards it. I watched as it barreled towards me and all I could think was: 'I've been in this position before.'

But to my great surprise, Leah launched herself past me and instead, tackled the silver wolf, Paul. They both went down in a tangle of limbs.

Like yin and yang they twisted and moved so fast I couldn't even tell which wolf was which. Snarls rang it my ears like the chime of a bell.

I pressed a palm to my head as the static in my mind increased. Confusion and panic flew through my veins like water. The noise was  _loud._

That wolf, that brown wolf. That was Leah.

The wolf I had told all my secrets to, who I shared all my insecurities with had been laughing at me this whole time. She'd made a fool of me.

They struggled for a second before Paul managed to throw Leah away from himself, leaving skid marks in her wake. The silver wolf turned back to me and launched himself.

Yellow teeth and eyes. Silver fur. He was attacking me, did he think I was just going to stand there? If so, he was poorly mistaken.

It was when I looked Paul in the eyes that I snapped.

It set off something primal in me, something dark and slimy. Something better left in the dark corners of my mind where it belonged, but now it was dragged out by that thing. He's challenging. He's challenging  _me._ Trying to denouncing me. Not knowing when enough is enough, like a disobedient dog nipping at his master's heels.

Needing to be reminded of his place at the foot of the world.

I feel frenzied. I feel like I'm about to burst at the seams, too massive for my own skin. The brightness is irritating. I wanted to put out the sun with my bare hands, I wanted to break the earth in half and see what was left in the middle. I wanted to  _skin_  this dog  _alive_.

My hands curled into fists, my nails digging into my hands. Blood flew freely from my hand but I relished in the pain, it only added to my excitement.

It started off small. Rocks flew from every direction and began to stack on top of eachother.  
A wall of stone built up in front of me from the ground up, pieces flying from all over the area to add itself to my defence like a pieces of a puzzle falling together.

My vision was cut off but I smiled viscously as a loud slam sounded out when Paul's meaty form hit my wall. Dust flew out, but that was as close as Paul got to touching me. I was untouchable.

I instinctively unclenched my hand and the solid form fell to the ground.

The blood from my palms hit the dirt beneath me in hollow arcs.

And then I'd realised what I'd done.

People can't do that, is the first thing my mind able to process. I grabbed my head In the grip of silent panic.

The logical part of my brain was engaged in a grappling match with the primal, violent part. They were fighting for control. The logical part of my brain didn't know what was happening or why. The primal part didn't care.

I whirled around to look at Bella and she simply stood there, mouth agape. Unmoving. She looked me in the eye and I saw fear, directed at me. The men all stood around, shock evident on their features as they stared at me. All eyes on the loose cannon.

A twig snapped and my head shot up, I saw the brown Wolf, Leah. Slowly walking towards me.

I backed away from her. I didn't want anyone to touch me, to talk to me. I don't want to be asked questions because  _I don't know_.

Why were they staring at me? Why were they looking at me like they were waiting for me to implode? Why did I feel like this had happened before?

It seemed so serene, so familiar. When had this happened before?

Flashes of memories shot through my mind. And somehow, I knew these memories were mine and mine alone.

I saw corpses, I saw laughter, I saw people with red eyes and cold skin.

I stared at my hands. I took one hand and leant against an ancient oak, my fingertips gripping into the crevices that ran through the bark. My eyes came to rest on the pattern, chaotic like the cracks in parched summer earth. Under my shoes the golden leaves were as noisy as the static in my head. Nothing was making sense anymore, not even trees. Why was it all still here? I willed the world to dissolve around me, just to melt away.

My hands began to shake, as did the earth beneath my feet.

The rocks at my feet began to jump as the tectonic plates moved. The horrible rumble of the earth made it sound as if she were in pain.

I clasped my hands over my ears in a desperate attempt to stop the noise. The blood on my hand transfering to my face. My eyes were wild, pupils dilated, heart racing, brain on fire, mind synapses firing like a hyped up internal aurora borealis, like a cluster bomb exploding in my brain.

I heard yelling, I saw the boys grabbing each other and stumbling away from me. I saw Bella backing away, ever so careful. Couldn't they see I wasn't doing it on purpose?

The ground began to split, separating me and Bella from the men. The deep rumble of the earth sent shivers down my spine. I was like a fox released in a henhouse. Everyone but me fell back instinctively, moving away from the man made cavern.

I turned on my heel and booked it into the ever yearning forest stretched out before me, with one thought floating through my mind.

Just what exactly had I forgotten in that forest?

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Leah POV

"We were naive to assume that Vampires and werewolves were the only creatures out there, but how could we have expected this?" Sam said, his head in his hands.

The room was solemn. A long silence string across the pack as they sat in varying degrees of realization across Emily's dining room. They had seen the Calypso I knew; sitting in a field, picking flowers and telling stories. But they had met a side of her that terrified them, and now they didn't know what to do. I didn't have to phase to know what they were thinking; it's a werewolves job to protect everyone from threats. We had chosen to consider the vampires as that threat, but what if there's more to it? Is Calypso potentially a threat?

Based off of the way they were looking at me, yes, yes they considered her as one. But they also knew I would sooner kill Sam then let them hurt her. Which made me a threat.

So all in all, this is going swimmingly.

"Did you know about this, Bella." I asked her. Bella was looking down at her hands in confusion. She shook her head before snorting.

"No, but I probably should have expected it. First Vampires, then Werewolves, now I find out my best friends some sort of sorcerer?" she hugged her arms closer to her body. I knelt down next to her chair. Bella is important to my imprint, and therefore, she's important to me. I can't do anything to calm my imprint right now, but I can help Bella. Maybe that will be enough to calm the panic in my stomach.

"Typical." she snorts.

"She looked scared Bella," I said gently to her. Even though I knew my pack could hear me. "I don't think she knew what she was doing, she did it to protect you."

I sent a withering glare at Paul as I said that. He flinched slightly under my gaze, he knew how badly he fucked up.

"Look, Bella." Sam chimed in. "It's clear that Calypso cares about you, that much has been proven today. It's clear that we're going to need your help finding her."

Bella's head shot up and she glared at Sam.

"Find her? You want me to lead you to her so you can, what, blackmail her?  _Kill_  her? No way, I may not trust her right now, but I'd never betray her. She means too much to me."

I physically flinched at 'kill her'

I tried to close my eyes and take a deep breath. But the second my eyelids halted my line of sight all I could see was Calypso's green eyes going gold. Flashing dangerous and primal, a look I'd only ever seen in the eyes of my pack.

I could  _feel_ the tingle on my skin from the power she had given off. It had felt like standing too close to the sun, like I had grabbed onto a live wire. Everything had been so  _alive._  Like the very air had been electric.

If I was being entirely honest? I don't think they could kill her if they tried. And the wolf inside me loved that. The human? Not so much.

"We don't have any intentions of hurting her, we just need to find her. It's not safe for her to be by herself. She's clearly confused and afraid, mixing that with powerful? then she becomes dangerous." Sam said defiantly, his Alpha aura kicking in as Bella questioned his authority. I smiled grimly as I saw something flash in Bella's eyes. Sam has no authority over her.

Bella stood up so quickly I almost missed it. "Dangerous? Dangerous?!" she practically spat in Sam's face. "You wanna know what's dangerous?! That-" she yelled, jabbing a finger at Paul. " _-Ass_  turning into a goddamn  _Werewolf_  because I slapped him! And  _he_  provoked  _me_! I don't see you policing him in the streets. Calypso had every right to do what she did, and now you want to guilt me into helping you find her?!"

She stomped to the door, Jacob made a move to stop her but Sam shot him a look that made him freeze. Stopping Bella now would only make things infinitely worse.

She wrenched the door open. "Fuck you." she spat. "Fuck you and your goddamn superiority complex, Calypso was fine until now." She began to step out before stopping. She tilted her head back. "-And I'll be stopping by to pick up her van at 10 tomorrow, I trust you can do that much?"

And with that, she slammed the door behind her.

We all sat in silence for a moment, out minds desperately trying to process what we had learned today. We all met each others eyes and I buried my face in my hands with a sigh.

I think Seth's soul left his body a little bit when the door opened again.

"Damn she looked  _pissed_!" Quil exclaimed, kicking the door shut with his foot. He looked around the room and noticed the somber undertone. He set down the paper bag of groceries with a frown.

"What I miss?"


	7. Virulent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh,,,, i dipped for a while

 

 

virulent (vîrˈyə-lənt, vîrˈə-)

►

  * adj.

Extremely infectious, malignant, or poisonous. Used of a disease or toxin.




* * *

 

My heart belongs to this Earth. I love her so. She is beauty; she is wonder; she is heaven by divine design. She is ecology; she is genetics, her lifeforms evolve and my love for her is absolute. In this wide universe there can be no finer planet for any species than their natural home. So please, open your eyes and see this gift. What more do you want? What more do you need?

But I am beginning to see a darker path within the earth, the looks of evil beneath soft soil. I've seen it with my own eyes, I just no not where.

It hadn't been long since the incident at Emily and Sam's house. It hadn't taken the pack long to find me again, but to be entirely honest; I wasn't exactly hiding. Well, all I owned was my van and what was in it, should the need arise I can just get in and go. I refused to cower in front of the beasts. Bella, being the intelligent woman she is, found me only after a couple of days. She had arrived awkwardly, claiming to only have been there to warn me about the pack.

She had convinced me to go out to lunch, blissfully ignoring all of the magic and things we'd seen and just talked. It had been…nice. She hadn't asked any questions about what had happened, and I offered no information. It felt good to just ignore everything that had happened, but the second we left the coffee shop I felt like I had stepped back into reality. A cruel reality.

She made no move to go towards her car, nor I to my van. She instead watched the sun over the distant trees. I looked over at Bella as she blew on her hands. She obviously wanted to say something.

 

“Edward came back.” was all she said.

 

Edward, her ex. I wonder what had caused him to come back after all this time? I carefully watched Bellas face. She didn't look mad or upset… she looked cold. Frosty. I had a feeling she didn't know what to do now that he was back. I looked at her carefully out of the corner of my eye. “Is that...okay?” I asked.

She plopped herself down on the curbside, throwing her bag out slightly. “Yeah, I mean. Me and him talking about it and…I forgive him. I can't explain it, but I know why he did it.”

She looked relaxed but I couldn't help but notice that she'd sat a safe distance from me. I suppose not all was forgiven. I didn't even entirely understand what I wasn't being forgiven for.

 

“Oh.” Was all I said.

 

The air was frosty like it always was. The sun was setting behind a thick curtain of trees in the distance that turned the blue sky red. Bella shivered slightly, but I felt no cold in the frosty air. I couldn't remember the last time I was too cold or too hot. Everything was comfortable.

I shivered suddenly, and not due to the cold. The reason I had not explained anything to Bella was because I had no answers and far too many questions. I'm not sure what happened, I'm not sure if I'm human or not. I don't remember anything before the woods. I was just... _there_ one minute, but gone the next. I am no more a human then the beasts from Sam's house.

“I want you to meet him.” she said suddenly. I turned to her, surprised. Bella had not reacted as terribly to my show of magic as I had expected her too, I got the feeling I wasn't the first thing she'd seen that isn't...entirely human.

“When?” I replied. Bella was willing the stay by my side even after what had happened. The least I could do is meet her deadbeat boyfriend.

 

She glanced down at her phone. “Now?”

 

“Ok.” I said, wrapping my arms around myself. “Lets go.”

 

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

 

I wasn't sure where I expected her to take me, but when she pulled up to her house I was surprised. Was her boyfriend going to meet us there? Or was he already inside?

I parked my car next to the curb, hesitantly exiting my vehicle. All was not well in the earth today, I could feel something not quite right.

Every step I took towards the house felt wrong, like I was walking to my grave.

She opened the door and I was met with the inside of her house, the only thing out if place was the man standing with his back to us. He didn't seem startled as we entered, and I got the distinct feeling he had known we were coming inside from before we even reached the front porch.

 

But it wasn't until the man turned to face us that I felt every fiber of my being scream _run._

 

Objectively he was fine, _better_ then fine actually.

He had the kind of face that stopped you in your tracks. I guess he must get used to that, the sudden pause in a person's natural expression when they looked his way followed by overcompensating with a nonchalant gaze. He was handsome alright, but inside something about him made me want to run for the hills.

Maybe it was the clenched jaw, or the pale skin. Maybe it was the delicate swoop of his hair or the way he angled his body as if he were preparing for a fight. His eyes lit up slightly when he saw Bella, it made him look kinder. But it also made me want to grab Bella and protect her from his gaze.

 

It was almost worse when his eyes met mine.

 

And I just _knew._

 

Those eyes. I had seen those eyes in my nightmares, those eyes aren't _human._ I stood and glared at the vampire in front of me And I just _knew._

Black eyes so deep they contained secrets, evil secrets. But I knew should the occasion arise, those eyes would turn gold, a dangerous gold that spoke of death and despair. Never changing, never _moving._

Flashes of people I knew, screaming crying as they were swiftly killed. Golden eyes meeting mine, teeth covered in blood baring in threat of what was to come. The metallic scent of blood filling my nose.

 

Bella threw herself full force at him, but he had no problem catching her. He's strong.

 

I glanced down at my hands to make sure they aren't covered in blood, that I'm not in the midst of tragedy. I look back up to see the man, the _thing_ , Edward looking at me.

He's a vampire, Bella is in love with a vampire. “Bella,” I spoke quietly. “We need to leave.” I began backing away, the door would meet my back any second. Nothing matters but getting out of here, _now._

She looked at me in confusion. “Calypso? What's wrong?”

 

“Nothing, but we should go. Now.”

 

Edward's grip on her arm tightened. “What are you?” he asked, his voice full of accusation. Perhapse it takes a monster to know a monster.

“I could ask you the same thing, vrykólakas! (Vampire)” I hissed. His eyes widened in surprise. “Bella, we're leaving. Now.” I said.

He tilted his head if listening to something. I felt an intense fear that I didn't understand flood my veins. I needed out _now. ‘If he doesn't let her go I swear to God, I will level this entire block.’’_

 

 _‘Can I do that?’_ A tiny voice in the back of my mind questioned.

 

 _‘Yes,’_ A louder voice replied. _‘Yes you can.’_

I shake my head violently. I pound it down again and again, but my thoughts will not dislodge themselves. They will drive me insane. Make me into a monster. But yet I keep them deep inside, close to my heart they abide. I want to get rid of these terrible thoughts but I also want to keep them tucked deep inside. They confuse and anger me, but yet they are my abditory. They are my worst enemies, yet my closest friends _._

The earth began to shake beneath my feet. The lights overhead swinging chaotically. “Calypso?” Bella said softly. She knew it was me, she knew I was the cause of this.

“He's a vampire, Bella.” I hissed through my teeth.

“I know.” she said quietly, my head shot up.

“You knew?” she nodded her head.

“I'll ask you again.” the monster hissed. “What. Are. You.”

“It doesn't concern you, leech.” I hissed. “Now step away from my friend or I'll burn your corpse to ash.” The _thing_ seemed surprised. Likely by my knowledge of how to kill one of their kind. I had a feeling that if I killed him, he wouldn't be the first.

“You've killed our kind before?” He asked. I felt a prodding within my mind, like someone was rummaging through looking for something specific.

 

He could read my mind.

 

The pieces fell into place like a puzzle.

 

“You brought me here so he could read my mind.” I said to Bella. Hurt I couldn't understand hit me. Hard. She wasn't willing to stay by my side, she wanted to stay by _his_ side- and I was a means to do it.

Bella’s eyes softened in guilt and I _knew._ “Calypso.” She said sadly. “I just needed to make sure you wouldn't hurt anyone.”

 

I stepped back. “I thought you trusted me.” I said.

 

“I do!” She cried. “But I can tell you don't know what's going on. Edward can help you, he can figure out what you are and how to make it better!” She said. “He knows people, people that can help.”

 

“People? Or vampires?” I hissed.

 

“Bella,” Edward said. “Vampires killed people she cared about.”

How did he know that. How did he know that if even _I_ didn't know that? I had been searching for answers for months and all he had to do was _stand_ in front of me and just _know._ I don't want be here, suddenly. In the past months this house had brought me comfort and joy but now it was dark, it was angry.

“That's why you came back, isn't it?” I said suddenly. I could tell by his protective gaze that he hadn't left Bella with the intent to hurt her, he'd left to protect her from the creature he is. “To protect her from me?”

He bares his teeth at me in obvious threat. Threat of _me,_ am _I_ the threat here? Am I not the one who doesn't feed off of human blood for survival? Am I the one who can move faster than the human eyes can see? Am I the one who killed nameless faces in my memories? Memories I can't discern like puzzle pieces left scattered in a box?

 

_Thirty white horses on a red hill._

 

He makes a move forward. The light starts swinging more chaotically. I don't want to fight him, the last time I fought a vampire I lost. Badly.

 

_First they champ._

 

Hjs eyes were flashing in a way that set off every fear receptor the body has to offer. What? When had I fought a vampire? I knew their weaknesses, I knew how to kill them, I knew names and faces.

 

_Then they stamp._

 

The light bulb bursts and we are left in a darkness so complete I can't even see my own hands a few inches from my face.

 

_Then they stand still._

 

My hand flies to the doorknob and before I know it, I am running.

  
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

 

The ocean shore is a gateway, a place where the aquatic and terrestrial worlds collide. With my hairless skin I could have belonged beneath the brine, had evolution taken a different fork. Then it would be I in the cool waters peeking at the dry world above, curious as to what lay on the land. But my lungs are of a land dweller and my limbs cannot swim all day long. So it is for me to see the orange kissed sky with eyes better suited for life underwater, to see the rusty hues reflected in the blackening waves.

The waves roar as I gaze out at them. I feel no connection to the ocean, not like I do with the earth. Its waves are too powerful for my frail body to contain- it's nothing like the calming forest, the silent trees reaching up and up and _up._ I do not want to be in the forest though, because whenever I am- I find myself calm. I don't want to be calm, I want to be upset. I want to scream and cry.

So instead I came here, to the shore where the angry waves crash into the beach like the questions bouncing inside my mind.

 

The gray sky above me rumbles.

 

“Am I always going to be waiting for another shoe to drop?” I mused to myself bitterly. “How many shoes are there?” I counted on my fingers as I listed.  
  
“I got in a crash and totaled my car, I almost died, I’m not human, at least not anymore.  Apparently I've been tricked by a werewolf into telling my life secrets. My best, and only, friend is dating a vampire. A creature I know I hate but cant remember WHY, And I can't even remember my own middle name yet!”  
  
I shook my head angrily as I stared out at the sea. On impulse I summoned a stone and threw it into the water with an angry shout,  
  
“WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?”  


Because dammit, sometimes you have to look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself; why am I not aging? Could I always destroy things with my mind? Was the lady who bit me in the woods not a junkie, but in fact, a vampire? How long will I elude death?

 

It's the important questions in life.

 

There is no sign to let me know something was behind me, but one minute everything is calm- and the next my heart us racing. Racing like a rabbit attempting to leap out if my chest. I spin around and find a wolf hesitating around the rocks.

 

It was my wolf- or the human woman, Leah.

 

I am so tired of running away- and while I know that this wolf is more than just a friendly face- I want comfort more than I want answers.

I shook my head and took another careful step forward, then another. She didn't move. My hands trembled, my palms sticky, heart pounding. I didn't even berate myself for this behaviour, couldn't, not with her right there, right in front of me. So real. I sank to my knees when my legs would no longer hold me up.  
  
Now I was closer to her, and just about eye level, I could see the melted chocolate orbs, shining, reflecting the moon as he stared at me with such intensity that I sank further.  
  
"Are you real?” I asked, aware of the mere two feet of distance between us, but not really being able to bring myself to care. I shouldn't have been feeling this need to get closer to her, I hadn't when she was human. Was it the separation? Or did the fact that she was in her wolf form have a different effect on me?

The wolf suddenly stood up and walked to the rocks, I watched her curiously- wondering what she was doing. The wolf disappeared behind the cover and the next thing I know Leah is emerging, donning a simple pair of black swim trunks and a bikini top.

She sat down next to me and stared at the cloudy sky. The waves were roaring- she looked at them but all I could do was watch her.

 

“I promise I wasn't being creepy.” She said hesitantly.

“Really?” I said before I could stop myself. “Cause from where I'm standing it looked pretty creepy.” I noticed how much room she left between us when she sat down.

 

“You're not going to ask?” I said, thoughtfully.

 

“No,” she said, almost casually. “No I'm not.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I want you to trust me, and I want you to decide when that is.”

Why is she willing to trust me- I nearly killed someone. But then again, Paul attacked Bella- I feel no regret in how I had reacted. I just wished I had stopped there.

 

“Are _you_ going to ask?” She said.

 

I snorted. “What is there to know? You're beasts staying within a pack. I'm not entirely sure if I want to know more.”

“I like to think we're more than monsters,” She said thoughtfully. “We are protectors.”

“Of what?”

“Humans.”

“ _From_ what?”

“Monsters.”

“You are monsters protecting humans from monsters?” I asked. “That seems a little backwards.”

She barked out a surprised laugh. “I guess. We were human once, but we changed and now we're not.”

 

“Is that why you're so tall?”

 

She laughed again. “I'm pretty sure everyone's tall to you.”

 

I scowled. “I will hit you.”

 

She just laughs in response and we look out at the ocean. It had calmed somewhat, distinctly changing. “Are you cold?” She asks suddenly.

“I don't feel the cold.” I said softly. “I don't feel anything.” Silence again. There was a though buzzing in the back of my head like an ever persistent bee. “Did you know?” I asked suddenly, she looked at me in question. “That Bella was with a- y'know. Paul said something about Sam warning her, so I thought…”

"You met one of them?" She asked sharply. 

I flinched back. "Bella wanted me to meet her boyfriend. We recognized eachother as... less than human. It didn't end well."

"Did he do anything to you?" She asked.

"No," I said quietly. "But I did burst the light bulbs in Bella's house, I feel kind of bad about that."

She barked out a laugh suddenly, the tension leaving her shoulders. "I think out of everyone in that situation, you have the most right to be upset." 

I shrugged. "You never answered my question," I pointed out.

She sighed deeply. “We knew.” she said. “We're not happy about it, Sam's convinced he's going to turn Bella into a vampire.”

 

“Do you think he will?”

 

She looked thoughtful for a moment. “I don't think so. He left to try and protect Bella from himself. I think...I think he actually might love her, even though it goes against everything I've been taught.” She looked amused all of a sudden. “Though if I've learned anything over the past couple weeks, it's that love doesn't make sense.”

She began to reach out for me hesitantly, but I backed away just out of reach. She looked so sad in that instance, like I'd wounded her by just existing. Her brown eyes were so sad, I wondered if she could cry. I was always taught monsters can't cry.

 

“Y'know,” I said. “Crying makes you human... My mother used to say that – I remember.”

 

“I don't know what being human is anymore.” She said. I leaned back against a rock and closed my eyes. “Who cares?” I replied absently. “Human or monster, we all die eventually, it doesn't matter how or why. It just is. Death is the true unit of measure, it gives all legitimacy.”

She looked at me carefully. 

"It is all we are." I said. "And little else matters."

 

She didn't respond but It was all the answer I needed.

 

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Leah POV

I'm not sure when she fell asleep.

She looked peaceful while asleep. I had wanted to go over to her and protect her from the harsh sea wind, but she said she doesn't get cold. She hadn't wanted me to touch her either, that I understood- and while my skin burned from being so close without contact, I stayed where I was, for her sake.  


_“You're not going to ask?” she said thoughtfully._

_“No,” I replied almost casually. “No I'm not.”_

_“Why?”_

‘ _Because I want you. Because I can't handle it if you run away again. Because I'm scared of what you'll tell me. Because I think that in the end we're not all that different._

 _Because I want you.'_  


I hadn't been planning on approaching her when I found her, but when we got word that the Cullens had come back, I had to see her. She had looked ethereal watching the ocean- up until she'd started throwing rocks and screaming, that is. I smiled slightly, I was perfectly crafted for her, and she was perfectly crafted for me.

I want go get to know her, but I'm not entirely sure she knows who she is. From what I'd seen of her so far she could flip the switch on her emotions- one minute calm and collected, the next…

Images of the ground splitting in two came to mind suddenly.

I looked down at her, she'd fallen asleep like a toddler, I didn't mind. My purpose was to make her feel better, and if being used as a human watchdog helped then I'd gladly do it.

I sensed the one of the pack approaching more so than hearing or smelling them. It was Sam, of course it was. Who else would come running at her arrival besides me?

 

I could sense him just behind me.  


"She's not going anywhere," I growled lowly, "I only just got her back." The thought of ever letting her go again created a sharp pain in my heart. I just needed to hold her, to watch over her like I should have done in the first place. I wanted to make everything right. I wanted to be a good imprint. A loving imprint. I wanted to touch her so badly.

Because after everything. Despite all logic, she stayed.

“I know.” Sam sighed. “We should get her back to the house.”

I looked down at her. “I want it to be her choice for her to go back,” I replied. “Just look at what happened last time.”

Sam barked out a laugh and I hushed him. “Seth's still patching the hole in our roof.” He mused.

I looked over at her again, Sam did the same behind me. “To think she did all that.” He muttered. “I know you don't want to pressure her, but the others are nervous. They want answers.”

“I know.” I said honestly. “But I'm not entirely sure she knows anything herself.”

“How can you be sure?”

 

“It's just a feeling…” I trailed off.

 

“Leah,” he said with a sigh. “I know you want to protect her, but you have to remember that the rest of us have imprints too- we need answers...We need to know If I she's a threat or not. You can't base it all off your feelings."

"Isn't that what all this is about?" I replied sharply. "My feelings?"

Sam looked at me hesitantly. I gestured over to the sleeping girl. "I don't even know her last name but I'd die for her in a heartbeat, Sam! I'm pretty sure I'd followed her to the ends of the earth if she asked! None of this shit is based off logic or common sense! So if you have do go on just my feelings- deal with it. It's all I'm going on either."

"Leah-" 

"Why can't you just let me be happy!" I exploded. I didn't have to be facing him to feel him recoil. We hadn't really discussed what happened all those months ago. Why was he so determined to ruin my every chance at happiness? I wanted this so  _Badly,_ The irrisitable pull of the imprinting and now he wanted to take that from me too.

"We need answers." Sam said weakly.

“And you'll get them!” I said sharply. I quickly quieted down as Calypso shifted in her sleep. “Just… not now." I said weakly. "Please.”

“Okay.” Sam said, backing away. “But remember-”

“-Pack is family.” We said simultaneously.

I listened to the sound of feet becoming paws, trailing off the sand and into the woods far behind me. What he said was true, the pack was my family.

 

But Sam had forgotten that it now includes her too.


End file.
